Safe
by RollisiFanGirl
Summary: NYPD's Special Victims Unit receives a call one night from the hospital. Lieutenant Olivia Benson goes to interview the young victim, Amanda Rollins, who has been held captive for over a year.
1. Chapter 1

**A/n: I hope you guys enjoy this story! Please, feel free to leave suggestions and your thoughts! :)**

"Where is she?" Lieutenant Benson asked.

"I'll take you to her," the nurse responded.

"The vic got a name?" Detective Carisi asked.

"We're not sure what it is yet. She hasn't answered any of our questions. She's terrified," the nurse answered.

As the three adults approached the curtain, they could hear loud cries. The nurse pulled the curtain back to reveal a small blonde on the cot. Tears were streaming down her face, and cries were escaping her mouth. The young woman was hysterical. Benson noticed her wrists and ankles were red and raw from struggling against the restraints. Bruises and cuts covered the young woman's body. Someone was treating her like a punching bag.

"Why is she tied down? She's terrified," Benson stated in exasperation.

"She was flailing around and hitting anyone who got near her. We had to restrain her," the nurse explained. That reason didn't seem valid to the lieutenant. She hated the idea of a traumatized victim being tied down in a hospital.

The young blonde caught a glimpse of Detective Carisi and let out another cry. She began fighting against the restraints even more. She was kicking and wailing, but she couldn't escape her restraints.

"P-p-please, d-d-don't h-h-hurt m-me! I-I'll be a g-good girl! I pr-promise!" the young blonde sobbed. Lieutenant Benson's heart shattered from the panicking victim. Benson and Carisi stepped closer to her, but she screamed out again.

"P-please! P-please, n-no m-more s-sex! Please! I-I'll do wha-whatever you s-say! P-please! It hurts! It hurts! Please!" the victim cried, fighting against the restraints as though her life depended on it.

"Hey, I won't hurt you," Carisi responded, putting his hands up and stepping back.

"Carisi, why don't you give us a minute?" Benson suggested. Carisi nodded and exited the room, feeling terrible for the young victim.

Lieutenant Benson stepped closer to the young blonde. The young blonde tried to scoot away, but the restraints limited her movements. Benson noticed the younger woman was trembling.

"Hi, I'm Lieutenant Benson. I work with Manhattan's Special Victims Unit. I'm here to help you. You can call me Olivia," Benson introduced herself in a soft, calm voice. The young blonde didn't respond. She only cried and continued trying to escape. Olivia gently placed her hand on the young blonde's wrist. The victim flinched away.

"N-no! P-please!" she cried.

"Hey, I'm not going to hurt you," Olivia promised. The young blonde continued to cry.

"Do you think you could tell me your name?" Lieutenant Benson asked. The young blonde didn't hear the lieutenant's request because she was too busy fighting against her restraints.

"Hey, how about we take these restraints off?" Benson suggested.

"P-p-please! It hurts," she whimpered.

"Lieutenant, we would like to keep her restraints on. We don't know how she'll act out without them," the nurse explained.

"She's scared, and tying her down isn't helping the situation," Olivia retorted. She undid the blonde's restraints. When they were off, the young blonde hugged her knees to her chest and continued to cry. Olivia placed a hand on the young blonde's shoulder, but she flinched at the contact and hugged herself tighter.

"Hey, I'm not gonna hurt you. I'm here to help you," Benson explained. The younger woman continued to cry and beg for the lieutenant and nurse not to harm her.

"Can you tell me your name?" The lieutenant asked. The young blonde didn't reply. The nurse sighed and called for two other people. Seconds late, two male nurses entered, causing the young blonde to wail more.

"Miss, you need to answer the officer. If not, I'll have to have you restrained again," the nurse decided. The young blonde began to panic even more. Olivia figured the two male nurses were the same ones who restrained the young g blonde earlier.

"N-no, p-please," she begged, hugging herself even tighter than before.

"Answer the officer," the nurse urged. Benson was speechless for a second. She couldn't believe the nurse would threaten a terrified victim like that.

"You know what? I think just the two of us will be fine. Why don't you give us a minute?" Olivia dismissed the three nurses. The nurses all left, realizing that threatening the young woman probably wasn't the brightest idea.

Olivia turned her attention back to the young blonde. She was trembling and crying. She was watching the lieutenant carefully, trying to see where her hands were so she could see if a blow was coming her way.

"Hey, it's all right. No one will hurt you, and I won't let anyone restrain you again," Olivia promised. The young blonde didn't believe her. Promises always get broken. She couldn't remember the last time someone kept their promise to her. The only promises she ever knew to be genuine were ones that caused her pain.

"I'm Olivia. Can you tell me your name?" Olivia asked again.

"I-I'm A-Am-manda," the victim stuttered quietly.

"Amanda. Hi, Amanda. Can you tell me your last name?" Olivia questioned.

"Rollins," she whispered.

"Hi, Amanda. Do you know where you are?" Olivia asked, trying to figure out how aware the young blonde was.

"A-a hospital."

"Yeah, that's right. Do you know why you're here?" Olivia wondered.

"S-someone f-found me in the p-park," Amanda answered.

"How did you get to the park?"

Amanda's eyes widened at the question. She started to cry harder. Her breathing went unsteady.

"P-p-please, d-don't s-send me b-back!" She begged.

"Hey, hey, calm down. I won't send you back. You're safe now. I just want to know what happened," Olivia explained.

"I-I ran," she mumbled.

"Ran from where?"

"The-the place he kept me," she whispered.

"Where was that?" Olivia asked.

"No, no, no! I don't want to go back! Please! I'll be a good girl! Don't make me go back! Please! It hurts! It hurts!" Amanda cried.

"Ssshhh. I won't make you go back. I won't make you go back. You're safe, okay? No one will hurt you anymore," Olivia promised. Deciding Amanda wouldn't be answering anymore questions at this time, Olivia decided to call it a night.

"I'll come back tomorrow, and you and I can chat again," Olivia stated.

"A-am I i-in tr-trouble?" Amanda asked hesitantly, her voice quiet and nervous.

"No, Amanda. Why would you be in trouble?" Olivia asked, concerned for the young victim.

"B-because I-I d-didn't answer you the f-first t-time, and y-you said we're g-gonna ch-chat tomorrow, but th-that j-just means I'm g-gonna get p-punished," Amanda stuttered before bursting into more tears.

"Oh, sweetheart," Olivia sighed.

"I-I'm r-really s-sorry I didn't a-answer y-you. I-I'll obey from n-now on. I-I promise," Amanda whimpered.

"You're not in trouble. You didn't do anything wrong. I'm not going to hurt you. I promise you that," Olivia responded, her heart breaking.

Olivia entered the hospital the next morning around nine. She wanted to ask Amanda some more questions. She was going to bring Carisi, but Amanda seemed so scared of him, and she didn't want to frighten her any more than she already was.

Olivia entered Amanda's hospital room. The young blonde had puffy and red eyes from crying so much. Her eyes had dark circles from lack of sleep. Her bruises and cuts didn't look any better. She was tensed up and flinched at just about every sound. Olivia felt anger bubble through her when she saw the restraints back on Amanda.

"Amanda," Olivia called to gain her attention. Amanda's head shot up, and she faced the lieutenant.

"Good morning," Olivia greeted. Amanda didn't respond. Olivia approached her, and she felt angrier and sad upon seeing the young blonde's red and raw wrists. She ordered the nurses and doctor not to restrain her again.

"Amanda, they restrained you again?" Olivia asked. A look of panic flashed on Amanda's face.

"I-I'm s-sorry, O-Olivia. I didn't mean to be bad. I'm s-sorry," Amanda apologized, her eyes filled with fear.

"Honey, don't apologize. They weren't supposed to restrain you. Can you tell me why they did?" Olivia asked. Amanda started crying, fearing Olivia was going to be angry.

"Amanda, it's all right. You're not in trouble," Olivia promised.

"I-I h-hit one of the n-nurses. H-he got r-really cl-close, and I-I thought he... I thought he was g-gonna m-make me h-have s-sex. I'm sorry," Amanda sobbed.

"Amanda, don't apologize. You're not in any trouble," Olivia began undoing the restraints. Just like the night before, when the restraints were off, Amanda hugged her knees to her chest.

"You're getting discharged in a little while, so the restraints will never be put back on you," Olivia tried to assure the younger woman. A nurse entered the room, and Amanda tensed up. Olivia shot the nurse an angry glare.

"Why was she restrained? I specifically told you and your team not to do that again," Olivia spat.

"She hit one of our nurses," the nurse retorted.

"You sent a male nurse to approach a terrified rape victim. You saw the absolute terror in her eyes. You shouldn't have let that happen," Olivia argued.

"I followed standard procedure," the nurse responded before exiting the room. Olivia rolled her eyes before turning her attention back to the young blonde. She offered a warm smile, wanting the younger woman to feel safe.

"Can you tell me anything about where you were held captive?" Olivia asked. Amanda shook her head.

"I can't tell. I can't tell. It's not safe," Amanda whimpered.

"Honey, it _is_ safe," Olivia promised. Amanda shook her head. She kept her gaze away from the lieutenant. Olivia realized Amanda wasn't going to speak about it until she felt safe enough. Instead, she kept the conversation light in an effort to earn the blonde's trust. She asked about when her birthday was, her favorite color, her favorite movies-things like that.

Some minutes later, the doctor entered the room. He was holding the discharge papers. He approached Amanda to have her sign them. Amanda scooted away from him. Olivia snatched the papers from him and handed them to Amanda, explaining that she needed to sign them.

"Amanda, is there someone who can come pick you up? Family, friends?" Olivia asked after Amanda signed the papers.

"N-no," Amanda whispered, her head down.

"There's a shelter not too far from here," the doctor chimed in. Olivia didn't like the idea of sending her to a shelter. Amanda had nobody, and she trusted nobody. She didn't think Amanda would thrive in a shelter.

"Would you like to come stay with me until other arrangements can be made?" Olivia asked. Amanda hesitated for a moment before nodding her head, not wanting to anger the older woman by declining.

"I'll be really good," Amanda promised.

"Amanda, relax. I'm not worried about your behavior," Olivia responded.

They reached Olivia's apartment, and Amanda looked around. It was cleaner than the basement she was kept in. There was more light too. A young woman entered the living room with a toddler in her arms.

"Hi, Lucy," Olivia greeted.

"Hey. You're pretty early," Lucy pointed out, seeing as Liv had only been gone about three hours.

"Hi, Noah," Olivia smiled, taking her son in her arms.

"Yeah. Last minute change in plans. I'm sorry. I forgot to let you know," Olivia apologized.

"Oh, it's not a problem," Lucy smiled. The two of them talked for a bit, and then, Lucy left.

"This is my son, Noah," Olivia told Amanda. Amanda nodded, and Olivia set the toddler on the ground so he could play.

"I assume you'd like to shower," Olivia stated. Amanda inhaled a shaky breath.

"N-no. No, please. P-please, n-no sh-shower. Please. Please," Amanda pleaded.

"Hey, hey, it's all right. What's the matter?" Olivia asked.

"N-no shower. P-please. Please, don't m-make me," Amanda began to cry.

"Did something bad happen to you in the shower?" Olivia questioned.

"Every time," Amanda dubbed.

"I promise nothing bad will happen this time. You're safe, Amanda."


	2. Chapter 2

Olivia finally convinced Amanda to follow her to the bathroom. She grabbed an extra towel for Amanda and some sweats she could change into after her shower. Amanda flinched when Olivia turned the water on. She was staring at the shower with sad eyes, afraid of what would come next.

"Is the water warm enough?" Olivia asked. Amanda nodded.

"Maybe you should feel it before you decide if it's warm enough," Olivia chuckled. Amanda hesitantly walked closer to the shower and felt the water. She was expecting it to burn her skin, but it didn't. It felt nice. She nodded again, and Olivia smiled.

"Do you need help getting undressed?" Olivia asked. She noticed Amanda wincing in pain frequently and being careful when she walked.

Amanda stepped back, afraid of Olivia taking her clothes off. Whenever her clothes were taken off, she would get hurt. She didn't want anymore pain. She let out a whimper.

"D-don't hurt me, p-please. I'll do whatever you s-say. P-please, don't m-make me t-take off my cl-clothes," Amanda begged, fearing a man would enter the bathroom any second.

"Amanda, I'm not going to hurt you. No one is going to hurt you. You have to take your clothes off for your shower," Olivia explained.

"No! No, I-I don't want a sh-shower! They h-hurt! D-don't make me! P-please, don't make me!" Amanda cried.

Olivia sighed. She wanted Amanda to feel safe. She didn't want her to think showers were dangerous. She knew Amanda needed to get clean after being found in the park and spending the night in the hospital.

"Nothing bad is going to happen to you in the shower. What are you afraid of?" Olivia asked, her voice soft and patient. Amanda didn't answer. Her body was trembling, and tears were spilling from her eyes.

"I am going to leave the bathroom so you'll feel better. Then, you can take your clothes off and get in the shower. I promise nothing bad will happen to you," Olivia told her.

Olivia exited the bathroom. Amanda didn't move. She didn't want to take her clothes off. She didn't want to take a shower. Olivia seemed a little nice at the hospital, and Amanda didn't understand why she was trying to force her to take a shower. Didn't Olivia understand how dangerous showers were?

Fifteen minutes later, Olivia decided to check on Amanda. She walked to the bathroom and knocked on the door. She heard the water running and assumed the blonde was still in the shower. When Olivia heard a startled gasp, she realized Amanda was already out of the shower.

"Amanda, you okay? Is it all right if I come in?" Olivia asked. She heard the young blonde sniffle and decided to enter. She slowly opened the door and was shocked to find Amanda still in her clothes. She had never gotten in the shower.

"Amanda, why didn't you take a shower?" Olivia asked. She was confused and curious, but not angry or annoyed. Amanda let out a whimper.

"I-I'm s-sorry. I'm sorry. I got scared. I'm s-sorry. P-please, d-don't b-be m-mad. I'm s-sorry," Amanda apologized over and over as though she feared punishment for not taking a shower when Olivia told her to.

Olivia didn't understand what Amanda was scared of, or why she wouldn't take a shower. She wished the young blonde wasn't so afraid. Olivia stepped closer to the blonde. She was about to speak, but Amanda gasped and backed away.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'll do what you say. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'll obey. I'll be good. Please. I'm sorry," Amanda rambled. She began taking her clothes off, afraid Olivia would hit her if she didn't.

"Amanda, it's okay. Just calm down," Olivia said, taking Amanda's hand. Amanda flinched away. She finished taking her clothes off and hurried into the shower. She gasped at the cold water, but she didn't dare change the setting. She wasn't allowed to change the temperature when he gave her showers.

"Amanda, I didn't come in here to scare you. You're not in any trouble. Come out of the shower," Olivia softly commanded. Amanda began to sob, thinking Olivia was going to hurt her for being disobedient. Olivia cautiously approached the shower and turned it off. She grabbed a towel and wrapped it around Amanda before helping her out. She sat the young blonde on the lid of the toilet. The older woman knelt down in front of her. Amanda's breathing was unsteady, and Olivia feared she would have a panic attack.

"Hey, calm down. I'm not mad at you. You're not in trouble. I'm not going to hurt you. I just want to know what has you so scared," Olivia explained.

"I-I'm s-sorry. I'm sorry," Amanda apologized.

"Stop apologizing. I'm not angry. I just want to know why you don't want to shower," Olivia said.

"I can't tell you," Amanda whimpered.

"Do you think it's dangerous? Do you think you're going to get hurt in the shower?" Olivia asked. Amanda hesitated before nodding.

"So what can I do so you'll feel safe in the shower?" Olivia questioned.

"D-don't l-let th-them h-hurt me. Please," Amanda pleaded.

"I won't let anyone hurt you. I promise I won't let anyone in," Olivia said.

"You won't let them in?" Amanda asked for confirmation.

"I won't let anyone in. It's just you, my son, and me here. No one will come in here," Olivia promised.

"I'm sorry for not taking a shower when you said to," Amanda apologized, her voice shaking.

"Stop apologizing. No one is mad at you," Olivia stated. Amanda hesitantly nodded, and Olivia turned the water back on. Amanda flinched when the water came on, and that didn't go unnoticed by Olivia. When the water was warm, Olivia left the younger woman to shower.

Amanda emerged from the bathroom forty minutes later. She had taken a quick shower, but took her time drying off. She hesitated for a long time before exiting the bathroom, nervous for what awaited her on the other side of the door.

She took a shower in the master bedroom, so when she opened the door, she was in Olivia's room. She heard Olivia talking to her son, and she followed the voice to the kitchen. There, she found the toddler in a high chair with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with some grapes, and Olivia was washing some dishes.

"Hi, Amanda. How was the shower?" Olivia asked.

"Fine," Amanda mumbled.

"Here, I made you some lunch. Is this okay?" Olivia wondered, pointing to the sandwich on a plate near the sink. Amanda's eyes lit up at the food.

She's letting me eat? Amanda thought to herself.

"Thank you," Amanda whispered, grateful for the food. She ate the sandwich in about a minute. It tasted good. When she was in the basement, she longed for when her captor would bring a piece of bread and maybe a little bit of fruit. She had stolen food a few times throughout, but she stopped after getting caught and punished.

"Are you still hungry? I can make you something else," Olivia offered, seeing how quickly Amanda devoured the sandwich. Amanda shook her head, knowing better than to ask for more food.

The rest of the day consisted of Amanda sitting on the couch, trying not to anger Olivia. Olivia asked Amanda a few questions, but she wouldn't answer. She knew better than to tell anyone what had gone down in that horrible basement where she was kept for over a year.

Noah took an interest in the stranger in his apartment. He tried to play with her, but she didn't respond. She stayed on the couch, lost in her own thoughts and fears. Olivia never once raised her hand against Amanda. She never yelled at all. She didn't even seem upset. Amanda wasn't used to that, and it confused her. Usually, someone was yelling at or hurting Amanda. Olivia never made violent physical contact though. She would touch her shoulder or knee in an unsuccessful attempt to comfort the young blonde, but she was never violent. Amanda didn't know how long the nonviolence would last, but she was grateful that Olivia hadn't hit her yet.

"How does pizza sound?" Olivia asked when it was getting late. Amanda glanced up at the older woman.

"Do you like pizza?" Olivia questioned. Amanda hesitantly nodded.

"I'll order some for the three of us then. What do you like on it?" Olivia wondered. Amanda was surprised. She was allowed to eat again?

"Is pepperoni okay?" Olivia asked when Amanda didn't answer. The young blonde nodded, and Olivia went to order the pizza.

Twenty minutes later, there was a knock on the front door. Amanda jumped.

"It's okay. It's just the pizza," Olivia assured the young blonde. Olivia answered the door, and Amanda froze when she heard a man's voice. Seconds later, she heard the door shut, and Olivia returned with a box of pizza.

"Pizza!" Noah shouted happily.

"Yes, pizza," Olivia chuckled at her son's enthusiasm. Olivia served her son a slice of pizza with a juice box. Then, she handed Amanda a slice.

"Thank you," Amanda whispered, grateful she was getting to eat again.

"Of course. What would you like to drink?" Olivia smiled warmly.

"C-can I have water please?" Amanda asked. Olivia nodded and got her a glass.

The three of them sat at the table, enjoying their meals. Amanda hadn't had pizza in so long. She forgot how good it tasted.

A half hour after dinner, Olivia put her son to bed. She returned to the living room where Amanda was sitting on the couch. Amanda let out a yawn.

"Ready for bed?" Olivia asked. Amanda nodded.

"Okay. Come on," Olivia responded. Amanda followed her to the bedroom.

"I'm gonna sleep on the couch. You can sleep on the bed," Olivia smiled.

"The bed?" Amanda asked. Besides the hospital bed last night, Amanda hadn't been given a bed in over a year.

"Are you sure?" Amanda asked. Olivia nodded, and Amanda walked over to the bed. She climbed into the bed, grateful for the softness of the mattress and pillows.

"Good night. I'll be right in the living room if you need anything," Olivia smiled.

"Thank you," Amanda mumbled, grateful for Olivia's kindness, though she knew it wouldn't last long. Olivia exited the room, and Amanda was left in the dark room. Her worries and fears kept her up for a bit, but her exhaustion quickly won over, and she fell asleep on the soft bed.


	3. Chapter 3

_When the light turned on, Amanda let out a whimper, knowing he was back. He walked down the stairs towards her. She scrambled as far into the corner as she could. She wished she could run, but the chains on her wrists and ankles restricted her movement. Besides, even if she could run, he would catch her before she could get far._

 _"Hi, Amanda," he smirked. Amanda let out a whimper. She pushed herself against the corner, but she was already as far back as she could go. He came closer to her, and she let out a shriek of fear._

 _"Please, don't! P-please, st-stop! Please!" Amanda pleaded. He laughed at her pleas. She hated his disgusting laugh._

 _"Oh, sweetheart, you know begging doesn't work with me," he said, planting a kiss on her cheek._

 _He kissed her lips. When she didn't kiss back, he got angry. He slapped her across the face. Amanda let out a yelp and scrambled around again, hopelessly trying to get away. It wasn't a challenge for the man to hold her down._

 _"I'd love for us to have some fun, and we will tonight. But first, you have a few customers," the man smirked._

 _"N-no. No, no, no, please," Amanda begged as tears streamed down her face. The man chuckled before taking the chains off of her. Chains made it harder for her to struggle, and the customers usually enjoyed the struggle._

 _"Now, you be good for the men," the man smirked. Amanda continued to sob as the man exited the basement._

 _Seconds later, the first customer entered the basement. Amanda didn't know how much these men paid for time with her, but her captor said it was a lot. This first customer was a regular. Amanda had heard him talking to her captor before. From what she could make out, his name was Cory._

 _"Hey, slut," Cory spat, licking his lips._

 _"N-no. No, p-please. D-don't hurt m-me. P-please, d-don't hurt me. L-let me g-go, p-please," Amanda cried, scrambling into the corner once again. Cory planted a kiss on her lips._

 _Not thinking about the consequences of impossibility of her actions, Amanda decided to take advantage of not being chained. He hadn't pinned her down yet, so she got up and started running. She was halfway up the stairs when Cory caught up to her, but she didn't give up. She kicked and tried biting him. She tried not to scream because she didn't want to gain her captor's attention. She somehow managed to escape Cory's grip and finish her run up the stairs. The door was unlocked, so Amanda had no problem exiting the basement._

 _She was almost to the front door when her captor caught her. He wrapped his arms around her waist and carried her back to the basement. She tried aimlessly kicking and hitting, but he was much stronger than Cory was and didn't so much as loosen his grip or even struggle a little to hold her. When he got downstairs, he threw her on the ground and kicked her ribs. She let out a yelp of pain._

 _"What do you think you're doing, slut?!" He screamed at her. Amanda curled herself into a ball._

 _"Sorry about her behavior, Cory. I don't know what's gotten into her, but I promise I'll beat it out of her," the man growled._

 _"I'll wait upstairs. Tell me when she's ready," Cory spat, angry that he had to wait to have his way with the pretty blonde. Cory went upstairs, and the man took his belt off._

 _"I-I'm s-sorry! I'm sorry! I-I w-won't d-do it ag-gain!" Amanda wailed._

 _The man began beating Amanda with the belt. Welts and bruises began to form on the small blonde. Amanda's screams and sobs did nothing to stop the brutal beating. When he finally stopped, he slapped her across the face._

 _"Don't ever do that again," he growled. Amanda was still sobbing. The man left, and Cory came back down. He pulled off Amanda's underwear as he kissed her. He roughly forced himself inside of her, and Amanda cried out in pain._

 _"Amanda!"_

 _"P-please, stop!" The young blonde sobbed._

 _"Amanda!"_

 _"Amanda, it's okay, honey!"_

 _Amanda was confused as to how Cory's angry growl transformed into a female's soft voice._

"Amanda. Amanda, honey," Olivia called out, gently shaking the young blonde. Tears were streaming down her face, and her body was trembling. She kept begging people not to hurt her. She was promising to be good.

"Amanda!" Olivia raised her voice. Amanda's eyes finally shot open, and she sat up, pulling her knees to her chest.

"P-p-please, st-stop! N-no m-more! Please! I-I'll be good!" Amanda cried.

"Amanda, Amanda, look at me. It's okay. I won't hurt you," Olivia promised. Amanda finally looked at her. She let out a whimper.

"D-don't hurt m-me, p-please," Amanda begged.

"I would never hurt you," Olivia responded. Amanda continued crying. She had scooted away from Olivia.

"I-I'm s-sorry for w-waking you up! P-please, d-don't b-beat me! Please! I'm so sorry!" Amanda sobbed.

"Don't be sorry. I'm not angry. I won't beat you. It's okay," Olivia promised.

"N-no! P-please! I'm s-sorry! I'm so, so sorry! I-I pr-promise not to do it ag-gain! P-please, d-don't hurt m-me! Please, don't get more customers! Please! Please, no more c-customers!" Amanda was hiccuping sobs.

"Hey, it's all right. It's all right. I won't hurt you. Amanda, what do you mean by customers?" Olivia asked, very confused.

"Please! P-please, d-don't get more c-customers! It hurts so much! Please! I'm sorry I woke you up!" Amanda sobbed.

"Okay, Amanda. Okay. No customers. It's okay," Olivia tried to assure the young blonde. She had no idea what Amanda meant by customers, but she wanted Amanda to feel safe.

"Pr-promise?" Amanda whimpered.

"Yes, yes, I promise," Olivia confirmed, her voice soothing and concerned.

"Th-thank you. Thank you. I-I promise I'll b-be g-good," Amanda cried.

"Sshhh. You didn't do anything wrong," Olivia said. Olivia continued to comfort Amanda until her sobs diminished into sniffles and occasional whimpers.

"Can you tell me about your nightmare?" Olivia asked softly.

"No! No, I can't talk about it! Please!" Amanda began to sob again.

"Okay. It's okay. You're safe now. You're safe. You're okay," Olivia tried to soothe her. Olivia climbed onto the bed, and Amanda scooted away. Olivia gently grabbed her hand.

"Don't be scared. I won't hurt you," Olivia whispered. Still, Amanda pulled away.

"You're okay. You're safe," Olivia promised. Amanda shook her head. She didn't feel safe. She was convinced she wasn't safe. Someone was going to hurt her. Someone always hurt her.

"You're not mad?" Amanda whimpered in a quiet voice.

"No, sweetheart, no. I'm not mad. I promise," Olivia responded, her voice soft, but serious. She hated that this young blonde was so terrified of her.

"I won't let anyone hurt you," Olivia whispered.

Olivia pulled Amanda into a hug, but Amanda flinched and yelped. She started to struggle, and Olivia quickly released her. Amanda scooted away from her.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. I just want you to feel safe," Olivia explained.

"I'm not safe," Amanda mumbled. Olivia's heart broke for the younger woman.

"Do you want to try to go back to sleep?" Olivia asked. Amanda nodded and laid back down.

"I'll be right in the living room if you need me," Olivia told her.

Olivia exited the room, leaving Amanda shocked. She couldn't believe Olivia didn't yell at her. She didn't hurt her. She didn't punish her for waking her up. She wasn't angry. Unless, it was a trick. Yeah, that's it. It had to be a trick. No one was ever kind to Amanda. Olivia was tricking her. Amanda's thoughts tormented her until her exhaustion finally put her back to sleep.

Olivia woke up around seven in the morning. She hadn't slept as bad as she expected to for sleeping on the couch. The only interruption of her slumber had been Amanda's nightmare. Olivia's heart hurt for the young blonde.

Deciding she needed to get dressed for the day, Olivia pulled herself up from the couch. She quietly walked to her bedroom, where Amanda was still sleeping. She looked peaceful while sleeping, and Olivia smiled. Olivia walked over to her dresser and began pulling out clothes to wear. While Olivia chose an outfit, she didn't notice the young blonde wake up. Amanda watched Olivia carefully. At one point, Olivia went to her closet to grab a belt. She pulled the belt out of the closet. When Amanda caught sight of the belt, she became alarmed. She sat up in the bed and started to cry.

"P-please, d-don't h-hit me. I'm s-sorry I woke you up l-last n-night. P-please, d-don't hurt me w-with th-the b-belt. Please. I-I'll be a good g-girl. I-I'll do wh-whatever y-you s-say," Amanda begged, her voice shaking and tears welling up in her eyes. _He_ beat her with his belt until she could hardly move.

"Oh, honey," Olivia began, her heart breaking. She walked over to Amanda, who scooted against the headboard of the bed.

"Hey, it's all right. I'm not going to hit you. I'm not going to hurt you with a belt. I promise. You're safe here. I would never, ever hurt you. I only grabbed the belt for my outfit. I promise. I would never hurt you," Olivia said seriously. Amanda's eyes moved back and forth between Olivia and the belt on the bed, clearly not trusting Olivia's words. Olivia picked up the belt to move it away, and Amanda flinched. Olivia tossed the belt onto the ground. She offered Amanda her hand.

"Come on. It's okay. I won't hurt you," Olivia promised. Amanda stared at Olivia's hand, unsure if she should accept it. Olivia moved her hand back to her side.

"Why don't you go wait in the living room while I get dressed? Then, I'll make us some breakfast," Olivia suggested. Amanda's face lit up.

"I can have more food?" Amanda asked excitedly.

"Yes, honey, of course," Olivia smiled sadly. The poor blonde had been deprived of food for so long that she saw it as a rare gift instead of a daily necessity.

"Wh-what do I have to do for it?" Amanda asked, suddenly scared again. The man never let her have food without working for it.

"Nothing, Amanda. You don't have to do anything for food," Olivia answered, her heart breaking for what seemed like the hundredth time since she'd woken up. She wondered what Amanda was forced to do in order to get food. She knew it couldn't have been good.

"R-really?" Amanda asked.

"Really," Olivia confirmed. She could see the genuine surprise on Amanda's face.

"Go wait in the living room while I get dressed," Olivia smiled.

"Right. Sorry," Amanda mumbled as though she'd just been caught breaking a rule and was being scolded for it.

"Don't be sorry," Olivia said softly.

Amanda hurried out of the bedroom. As Olivia got dressed, she wondered what the young blonde had been through. What happened to her that had her so scared of everything?


	4. Chapter 4

**A/n: I hope you are enjoying this story! Thank you for reading and reviewing! :) Suggestions are always welcomed. I really appreciate anyone who has been reading any of my stories. Thank you :)**

"Good morning," Olivia smiled, entering the living room with her son in her arms. She was dressed in the outfit she had picked out when Amanda was in the bedroom. As promised, the belt was used to secure Olivia's pants, not to beat Amanda with.

Amanda offered only a tiny smile in response. Olivia put her son down, and he immediately went to grab the television remote. When he turned it on, he climbed on the couch and sat next to Amanda.

"Hi," Noah smiled with a sweet grin.

"Hi," Amanda whispered to the toddler. Noah turned his attention to the television.

Amanda's eyes followed Olivia. She wanted to know exactly where Olivia was and what she was doing so she couldn't sneak up on Amanda and hurt her. Olivia noticed Amanda's gaze and gave her a questioning look.

"Everything okay?" Olivia asked, her tone kind and genuine. Amanda nodded in response, but Olivia knew that wasn't true.

"What would you like for breakfast?" Olivia wondered. She raised her eyebrows, as if to ask again, when Amanda didn't answer.

"Anything," she finally whispered. Her voice was so quiet Olivia almost didn't hear it.

Realizing the young blonde would be fine with anything as long as it was edible, Olivia decided on pancakes. She figured she couldn't go wrong with that. Pancakes were ready shortly, and Olivia served three plates. She gave a small pancake to her son with a little bit of syrup. She gave Amanda two pancakes with syrup, and she gave herself two as well with syrup.

"What would you like to drink?" Olivia wondered, pouring Noah a glass of orange juice.

"Can I h-have w-water, p-please?" Amanda asked.

"Of course. Are you sure you don't want coffee or orange juice instead?" Olivia questioned.

"Um, a-anything is f-fine," Amanda answered.

She wanted water. She wasn't given enough water in that basement. She always worried about when her next drink of water would be. However, she wasn't about to argue with Olivia. She would do whatever Olivia wanted. She didn't want to cause any conflict.

"Amanda, you can have anything you want. I just wanted you to know that water wasn't your only option. What would you like to drink?" Olivia repeated.

Amanda was growing anxious. She couldn't tell what Olivia wanted her to choose. She didn't want to give the wrong answer. She didn't want to anger Olivia. _He_ would get so angry when Amanda answered incorrectly.

"Wh-whatever you want me to h-have," Amanda said. Olivia sighed.

"I want you to have whatever you want," Olivia answered, hoping that would help Amanda choose. She wondered how much control this woman had been under to fear voicing what she wanted when asked.

"Water, p-please, if that's o-ok-kay," Amanda finally responded.

"Of course," Olivia whispered. She gave Amanda a glass of water.

Olivia watched Amanda eat. Amanda ate quickly. She was so hungry. She downed her glass of water with just three drinks.

"Do you want more water?" Olivia asked, noticing how quickly Amanda drank.

"Y-yes, p-please," Amanda answered. Olivia refilled her glass, and, again, Amanda drank quickly.

After breakfast, Olivia did the dishes. Amanda sat on the couch, watching Noah play with action figures on the ground. He tried convincing Amanda to play with him, but she declined in the nicest way she could think to. A knock on the door startled Amanda, causing her to flinch.

"It's all right, Amanda. It's just my sitter," Olivia explained. She opened the door, and the same young woman from the day before entered with a bright smile.

"Lucy!" Noah shouted happily, running over to her.

"Noah!" Lucy mimicked him. She took the toddler in her arms.

"Amanda, can you come with me for a moment please?" Olivia asked, not wanting Lucy to overhear her work related conversation.

Amanda hesitated before following Olivia to her bedroom. She replayed the entire morning in her mind, trying to figure out if she did anything wrong to anger Olivia. She didn't want to be yelled at or hit by Olivia. The older woman was taller and stronger, and Amanda was sure her voice could be loud and her hits hard. She had tried so hard to be good, and she hoped Olivia wasn't angry at her.

They entered the bedroom, and Olivia shut the door. Olivia turned to face the younger woman. When she saw the fear and confusion in Amanda's eyes, she gave her a warm smile.

"It's okay. I just didn't want Lucy to hear this conversation because it's work related," Olivia explained. She sat down on the bed and offered Amanda a seat, but Amanda chose not to move.

"Did I do something wrong?" Amanda finally asked, breaking the silence.

"Oh, no, sweetheart. Not at all. I needed to talk to you about your case," Olivia answered. Amanda looked confused.

"The person who took you. We need to talk about that," Olivia explained. A look of panic appeared in Amanda's eyes.

"Are-are you s-sending me b-back?! You-you promised you wouldn't!" Amanda cried. Olivia immediately stood up from the bed and was trying to speak, but Amanda interrupted her.

"P-please, d-don't! Please! I-I'll be good! Please! I don't wanna go back! I'll be g-good!" Amanda pleaded. She slid to the ground, pulling her knees to her chest, and she began rocking herself back and forth. Her eyes shut tight as vivid memories hit her.

"Amanda, Amanda, it's okay. I'm not sending you back," Olivia tried explaining, but Amanda wasn't listening. Olivia placed a hand on the younger woman's shoulder. The young blonde flinched and let out a cry.

"P-please, d-don't h-hurt me anymore," Amanda whispered, tears streaming down her face.

"No, Amanda, it's me, Olivia. I wouldn't ever hurt you. Please, look at me," Olivia pleaded. Amanda finally looked at Olivia and realized she wasn't back in that terrible basement, about to be beaten and raped again.

"You're safe, honey. You're safe," Olivia whispered.

"I promise I'll be good. Please, don't send me back," Amanda whimpered. Her voice was shaking and filled with fear.

"Amanda, I would never, ever send you back there. You're safe here. I won't let anyone hurt you. I promise you that," Olivia said, her voice serious and loving.

"Th-then why do I have to talk about it?" Amanda asked shakily.

"I want to take you to the precinct and ask you a few questions. We want to get your statement so that we can find the disgusting person who hurt. Then, we can lock him up, and he'll never hurt anyone ever again," Olivia explained.

"What if you don't believe me? What if you think I'm lying?" Amanda asked, her voice a whisper. He told her nobody would believe her.

"Amanda, I know you're not lying. I know something terrible happened to you, and I will do everything in my power to get you justice," Olivia promised, her voice firm. Amanda nodded. She wasn't sure she trusted this person, but she didn't feel that she had any other options.

"Okay, then. I'll get you some clothes to wear, and then, we can go," Olivia smiled. Amanda nodded.

Olivia went to the dresser and found some clothes for Amanda. She decided on some jeans and a flannel. She went to the closet and grabbed a belt. She moved slowly, trying not to scare Amanda with the belt like this morning. Amanda still flinched when she saw the belt, and Olivia placed in at the edge of the bed, deciding not to come any closer with the leather belt in her hand.

"It's okay, Amanda. The belt isn't here to hurt you. It's just for the jeans. My clothes might be a bit big on you, so you'll need it," Olivia explained. Amanda nodded, understanding that Olivia had no intentions of hitting her with the leather material.

Olivia went to the bathroom and grabbed an extra toothbrush. She set her hairbrush next to the sink. She informed Amanda of the two items, giving her permission to use them.

"I'll be in the living room whenever you're ready," Olivia smiled before leaving the bedroom.

It took Amanda a few minutes to get dressed. Her entire body was sore and in pain. She put the tank top and flannel on first because she knew it would hurt less than putting on the jeans. She was right. Putting on the jeans hurt more. She put them on quickly, hoping to minimize the pain between her legs, but she was sure she had maximized the pain by the time her jeans were buttoned up. She slid the belt on and headed to the bathroom. Brushing her teeth didn't take too long, but she spent a lot of time brushing her hair. It was full of knots. When it was all brushed out, Amanda headed to the living room.

"Ready to go?" Olivia asked. Amanda nodded, not making eye contact. Olivia said goodbye to her son and Lucy. Then, she and Amanda exited the apartment.

The car ride was silent. Amanda was fidgeting in her seat, nervous about what was to come. Each time Olivia moved her hand while driving, Amanda flinched, thinking she would be hit. Olivia didn't notice at first, but when she did, her heart sank.

"Amanda, I'm not going to hit you," Olivia told her, her voice soft and sad. Amanda didn't respond. She didn't even move. Olivia wondered if Amanda had heard her.

Amanda _did_ hear her. However, she didn't believe her. She knew, at some point sooner or later, Olivia was going to hit her. Almost everyone Amanda has met in the last year has hit her, and she knew Olivia would be no different.

When they reached the precinct, Amanda hesitantly followed her into the building. Amanda was careful to keep her distance from Olivia, still afraid of the older woman. However, as they walked through the hallways, Amanda saw men walking as well and became afraid. She let out a whimper and stepped closer to Olivia.

"No customers. P-please, n-no customers. Sh-she pr-promised I-I didn't h-have to have any c-customers," Amanda whispered to herself.

"Amanda, you okay?" Olivia asked. Amanda was practically clinging to Olivia, not because she trusted her, but because she didn't trust the men more.

"No customers. Please, no customers," Amanda repeated to herself.

"Amanda, you're not here for customers," Olivia told her. She still wasn't sure what Amanda meant by customers, but she wanted Amanda to know nobody would hurt her.

"B-but th-there's so many," Amanda whimpered.

"Can you point some out to me?" Olivia questioned, trying to figure out what she was talking about. Amanda started pointing at men, and Olivia caught on.

"Were all of the customers men?" Olivia asked. Amanda nodded.

"What did the customers do?" Olivia asked. Amanda let out another whimper.

"I can't tell you," she said, her voice shaking.

"Did they hurt you?" Olivia continued. Amanda nodded. A man walked too close to Amanda, and she whimpered again. She clung to Olivia's arm.

"No more. No more. No more customers. Please, Olivia. Please, don't make me. I'll be g-good. I'll do whatever you s-say. J-just please, n-no m-more customers. Please," Amanda begged. Olivia wrapped an arm around the very tensed up woman.

"Sshhh. I won't make you take any more customers. Whatever you were forced to do, you'll never have to do it again. You don't have to have any more customers. And stop promising me that you'll be good. You haven't done anything wrong, and even if you do make a mistake, I'm not going to hurt you for it. You're safe with me," Olivia promised the young blonde.

"Thank you, Olivia. Thank you for not making me take m-more customers. I h-hate customers. It hurts so much," Amanda whimpered.

"I'm so sorry to hear that, but I promise no one will hurt you anymore," Olivia told her.

Amanda still clung to the lieutenant. It was as though she feared a man would come and hurt her if she let go of Olivia. Her nails were digging into Olivia's skin, but Amanda didn't notice.

"Ow. Loosen your grip, sweetie. I'm not leaving you," Olivia smiled sadly. Amanda realized her nails were cutting into Olivia's arm and immediately let go.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I'm sorry," Amanda apologized.

"It's all right. It's all right. Don't apologize. I'm not upset. I just want you to know that you don't have to be scared," Olivia told her.

Amanda didn't grab onto Olivia again for fear of hurting her again and angering her in the process. She stood closer to Olivia than necessary and flinched whenever a man came too close. Olivia's heart sank for the young blonde. She couldn't imagine how horrible it must be to be so scared of everything constantly.

The two entered the squad room. Amanda recognized Detective Carisi from the other day at the hospital. She saw another male detective near him. Amanda let out a whimper.

"Everything all right?" Carisi asked, noticing how scared the young blonde was. Amanda clung to Olivia again, and Carisi stepped closer to them.

"Amanda, do you remember Detective Carisi from the hospital?" Olivia wondered. Amanda nodded. Carisi took another step closer, and Amanda flinched. She let go of Olivia and began backing away.

"No customers. Please, no customers. Olivia said I didn't have to," Amanda whispered to herself.

"Honey, Detective Carisi and Detective Fin are here to help," Olivia informed her, pointing to Detective Fin. Fin and Carisi nodded in agreement.

"Come with me for a moment," Olivia commanded the younger woman. Amanda followed her to an interview room.

"I'm going to go brief the other detectives. Can I get you anything to drink?" Olivia offered.

"C-can I have w-water, p-please?" Amanda asked.

"Of course. I'll be right back," Olivia smiled.

"You're leaving me?" Amanda asked alarmed.

"I'll be right back," Olivia promised.

"No, please. What if a c-customer comes in?" Amanda asked, tears welling up in her eyes. Olivia's heart broke. This young blonde didn't trust anybody. In her mind, everyone was trying to hurt her.

"I promise you that won't happen. Everyone here wants to help you. No one will come into this room without my permission, and I'm going to give _anyone_ permission," Olivia said seriously.

"What if they don't listen?" Amanda wondered, a tear sliding down her face.

"They have to. I'm the boss," Olivia smirked. Amanda nodded.

"I promise you're safe," Olivia spoke in a soft voice.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/n: hi, everyone! Thank you so much for reading! Please, leave your honest thoughts and suggestions as they are helpful. I hope you enjoy this chapter :)**

"The vic's name is Amanda Rollins. She was found two nights ago in the park by a couple out on a late night walk. She was being held captive, but she won't say who it was. She doesn't trust anyone, and she's terrified of everyone, especially men," Olivia briefly explained.

"She's trusts you," Carisi pointed out.

"More than others, yes, but I'm still getting her to trust me. Poor girl freaks out over everything. She saw one of my belts this morning and immediately assumed I was going to beat her with it. She keeps begging me not to send her back and not to make her take more customers," Olivia sighed.

"Customers?" Fin asked curiously.

"She won't tell me what the customers did to her, but from what I could gather, all the customers have been male," Olivia answered, indicating the young blonde was a rape victim.

"So she's a trafficking victim?" Carisi figured.

"Possibly," Olivia responded.

"Want me to interview her with you?" Carisi asked.

"No, she doesn't trust any men. I'll take her statement by myself," Olivia declared.

Olivia grabbed a water bottle before heading back to the interview room. Carisi and Fin followed, wanting to watch the interview through the window. Olivia entered the room, and Amanda flinched.

"Here you go," Olivia smiled, giving her the water bottle.

"Thank you," Amanda whispered, taking the water. She gratefully took a big drink.

"Of course. So Amanda, I was wondering if you and I could talk a little bit about what happened to you. Remember? I told you I would bring you here to talk about it," Olivia reminded her. Amanda remembered. Olivia had only mentioned it about an hour ago.

"So what can you tell me?" Olivia asked. Amanda shook her head.

"I'm not allowed to talk about it," Amanda whispered.

"Yes, honey, you are allowed to talk about it. No one can hurt you anymore," Olivia promised. Amanda didn't say anything.

"Let's start easy. Can you tell me how many other girls there were?" Olivia asked, figuring she was a trafficking victim. Amanda looked at her confused.

"It was just me," Amanda whispered.

"And where were you?" Olivia wondered.

"A b-basem-ment," Amanda answered.

"You said you had customers," Olivia brought up. Panic flashed through Amanda's eyes.

"I can't talk about that! Please, Olivia! Please, don't make me! I'll get in so much trouble!" Amanda pleaded, terrified of the punishment that would follow if she dared to say a word about the customers.

"Honey, I promise you that won't happen," Olivia said softly, taking Amanda's hand. Amanda flinched at the contact.

"I don't wanna be punished. Please, don't make talk about it, Olivia," Amanda whimpered. She wanted to be a good girl. Good girls didn't tell the police what happened in that basement. Only bad girls told, and bad girls got punished.

"Okay, Amanda. It's okay. We don't have to talk about that right now. Did you have any bosses?" Olivia asked, wanting to know how many captors there were. Amanda nodded.

"How many did you have?" Olivia pressed.

"One," Amanda whispered.

"Is there anything you can tell me about your boss? His name? His hair color?" Olivia questioned. Amanda shook her head.

"You don't know what he looked like?" Olivia asked confused.

"I can't tell you," Amanda whispered.

"Honey, it would be so helpful if you told us. We really want to find this guy," Olivia explained.

"Why? Why do you want to find him? You said I didn't have to go back!" Amanda cried.

"No, honey. You misunderstood. You don't have to go back. We want to find this guy so we can lock him up so he can never hurt anyone else," Olivia quickly explained.

"H-he had br-brown h-hair and br-brown e-eyes. H-he w-was t-tall. M-maybe th-thirty-f-five," Amanda stuttered out.

"Did you ever catch his name?" Olivia wondered. Amanda nodded her head.

"Oh, good. Can you tell me what it was?" Olivia asked.

"No. No, he'll be so mad," Amanda said, her eyes filled with fear.

"Amanda, I can make sure he never touches you ever again. If you can tell me his name, that will help me help you," Olivia explained. Amanda started to cry, and Olivia didn't push her to say more. She went to give Amanda a hug, but Amanda shrieked and jumped away.

"Don't hurt me. P-please, d-don't hurt me. I-I'm sorry. I-I promise I-I'll a-answer y-you," Amanda whimpered.

"Sweetheart, I'm not going to hurt you," Olivia said softly. Amanda continued to cry, afraid of having to say any more and worried that Olivia was going to be angry at her. She was trying so hard to be a good girl, but Olivia was asking such difficult questions that she wasn't supposed to answer.

"Hey, Amanda? How about we take a break? Would you like something to eat?" Olivia asked.

"Y-yes, p-p-please," Amanda whimpered.

"Okay. There's a vending machine down the hall. Let's go," Olivia smiled.

"Olivia?" Amanda asked.

"Yes, sweetheart?"

"I'm s-sorry for n-not answering y-you," Amanda whimpered, scared Olivia would be angry at her.

"Amanda, don't apologize. I know these questions are really difficult, and I know you're doing your best," Olivia told her. Amanda nodded, and the two headed to the vending machine.

Olivia bought Amanda a bag of potato chips, and Amanda ate them quickly. She was halfway through her bag when she realized she hadn't even offered Olivia any. She held out the bag to Olivia, and Olivia looked confused.

"Do you want some?" Amanda asked, her voice quiet.

"Oh, no, sweetie. Thank you though," Olivia smiled. There was no way she was taking any food from Amanda when she had been deprived of food for so long.

"Ready to go back to the interview room?" Olivia asked when Amanda finished her food. Amanda nodded, and they headed back.

"Amanda, I know you don't want to talk about your customers because you're afraid something will happen. How about instead of you telling me what happened, I can ask you some yes or no questions?" Olivia suggested. Amanda hesitated to answer, knowing it was unsafe to talk about her customers, but also not wanting to anger the one person who had shown her any kindness.

"If it becomes too much, we can stop. Remember, he can't hurt you anymore," Olivia declared. Amanda nodded.

"Were all of the customers men?" Olivia asked.

"Yes," she whispered.

"Did they come everyday?"

"A-almost."

"Did they hit you?"

"U-usually.

"Did they ever touch in ways they shouldn't have?"

"Y-yes."

"Did they pay your boss money to spend time with you?"

"Yes."

"Did they rape you?"

Amanda broke down in tears. Her body was trembling. She hugged herself. Memories of her customers beating and raping her flooded back. Her sobs were loud.

"It's okay, sweetie," Olivia whispered, placing a hand on her shoulder. Amanda flinched.

"Please, d-don't hit me!" Amanda screamed.

"I'm not gonna hurt you. You're safe here. You're safe," Olivia comforted her. Amanda continued to cry, and Olivia continued speaking soothing words.

"I-I didn't want it. I-I'm s-sorry. P-please, d-don't b-be m-mad. I'll be g-good g-girl," Amanda sobbed. The man punished her often for being a slut, but he was also the one forcing her to have sex with other men.

"Amanda, I'm not mad at you. I know you didn't want it. It's not your fault," Olivia said, her voice calm and quiet with the hope it would soothe the young blonde.

"S-so you-you w-won't p-punish m-me?" Amanda asked, tears still spilling from her eyes.

"No, honey, of course not. This isn't your fault. I won't punish you. I would never punish you. You haven't done a thing wrong," Olivia tried to assure the young blonde. Olivia was now having to fight back her own tears.

"B-but I-I've b-been s-such a b-bad g-girl," Amanda sobbed.

"No, Amanda, you haven't. You're a very good girl. You're not in any trouble. I promise," Olivia told her, disgusted that Amanda was raped almost everyday and felt as though she was the bad one.

The next fifteen minutes consisted of Olivia trying to soothe Amanda. She had to confirm multiple times that Amanda was not in trouble. Amanda finally began to calm down enough to continue the conversation.

"Was there more than one customer a day?" Olivia asked.

"Y-y-yes."

"Did your boss rape you?"

"Yes."

"At the hospital, did you get a rape kit?"

"N-no."

"Would you be willing to let me take you to the hospital to get a rape kit?"

"No more hospital! Please! Please! I don't want to be tied again! Please! They were so mad at me!" Amanda cried.

"Amanda, Amanda, honey, I can promise that they will not restrain you during a rape kit, okay? I can promise you that, and I will be right there with you to make you're treated correctly. They won't hurt you. I promise you they'll be helping you. And anytime you want it to stop, they'll stop," Olivia explained. Amanda nodded. She still didn't want to go through with it though. She didn't want to go back to a hospital. She didn't want more nurses and doctors to restrain her. She was scared.

"So will you let me take you to get a rape kit?" Olivia asked.

"Y-yes," Amanda whimpered. She didn't want to upset Olivia by refusing. Olivia had been so kind to her, and she didn't to make her angry and violent. She would do whatever Olivia said.

"That's great. Thank you, Amanda," Olivia smiled warmly. Had Olivia known Amanda was only going through with this because she was afraid Olivia would turn violent if she didn't, there's no way Olivia would've taken her to get a rape kit. Olivia had no intention of scaring or otherwise forcing Amanda into doing a rape kit.

Olivia drove Amanda to the hospital. Amanda was trembling, and Olivia was trying to help her stay relaxed. When they reached the hospital, Amanda let out a whimper.

"Amanda, it's all right. You're safe here. I promise. This is all done on your terms. They stop when you say to. You have complete control here," Olivia told her. Amanda didn't believe those words. She was never safe. Nobody kept their promises to her. Nobody stopped, even when she begged them to stop. She never had any control.

They entered the ER, and Olivia approached the receptionist. She began explaining the situation to the compassionate receptionist. Amanda caught sight of one of the nurses from the other night, and she clung to Olivia.

"Olivia, p-please, d-don't let it be the same n-nurses," Amanda pleaded.

"Of course, sweetheart," Olivia whispered. She turned her attention back to the receptionist.

"She was intimidated by some nurses the other night, and we were hoping none of them would do the rape kit," Olivia explained.

"Oh, of course. Can you give me their names so we avoid that?" The receptionist asked. Olivia gave the names, and they were then sent to a room.

Amanda had to undress herself and put on a gown. It hurt to undress herself, and Olivia offered help. However, Amanda declined help. She put on the gown and sat on the cot. Olivia could see the tears welling up in Amanda's eyes, and the younger woman's body was trembling.

"Amanda, honey, you're safe here, okay? If you decide not to do this, they will stop. It's okay," Olivia told her.

"You-you said it's important th-that I d-do this," Amanda said.

"Yes, it is important, but you won't be forced to do anything here," Olivia explained. Amanda shook her head.

"N-no, I-I don't want to m-make you m-mad. I-I'll do whatever you s-say," Amanda whimpered. Olivia's heart sank as she realized Amanda only agreed to the rape kit for fear of angering her.

"Amanda, honey, I will not be mad if you decide you don't want to do the rape kit. Nothing you do will make me angry. I won't hurt you. You're not in any danger, especially around me," Olivia promised. Amanda nodded.

"So you don't want to do this?" Olivia asked.

"I'll do it," Amanda whispered, not trusting Olivia's words. Olivia gave her a sympathy look. She continued to promise she wouldn't be angry if Amanda decided against doing a rape kit.

A few minutes later, there was a knock on the door, and a nurse entered the room. She introduced herself as Nurse Lucy Brooks.

"I want to make you aware that you can stop this process or refuse any steps of this process at any time. You have the control here, okay?" Nurse Brooks asked. Amanda nodded.

"All right. Are you ready to start?" She asked.

Five hours later, the invasive process was over. Amanda cried through the entire thing. Olivia reminded her numerous times that she was allowed to stop, but Amanda wouldn't stop. She wanted Olivia to be happy with her instead of upset or disappointed. She didn't want to be in trouble, so she was going to do anything Olivia said. Olivia cried throughout the rape kit as well. She felt horrible watching Amanda be so afraid. She tried to hold Amanda's hand, but Amanda preferred to grip the cot instead. Her grip was so tight her knuckles turned white.

Olivia was filled with guilt. She hadn't forced Amanda to do a rape kit, but that didn't seem to matter. Amanda felt as though she didn't have a choice. She was afraid of upsetting Olivia, so she agreed to do the rape kit. If Olivia had known before they were in that hospital room that Amanda felt as though she didn't have a choice, there's no way Olivia would've taken her to the hospital. She didn't want to force Amanda to do anything. Amanda had been beaten, deprived of food and water, held captive, raped, and probably endured other things Amanda hadn't yet voiced. One of the last things Olivia wanted to do was scare Amanda into doing anything.

When the rape kit was over, Amanda was exhausted and quiet. More than usual. She put her clothes back on. Olivia tried to grab her hand, but Amanda flinched.

"I'm so proud of you, Amanda. I know that was hard, and you are so strong," Olivia told her, her voice filled with sympathy and love. Amanda nodded, grateful Olivia wasn't angry.

"All right. We're done for the day. We can try to finish your statement tomorrow. For now, let's go back to my apartment. What do you want for dinner? I will get you whatever you want," Olivia smiled warmly. Amanda glanced up at the mention of food. She was glad Olivia wasn't punishing her by depriving her of food.

"I'll get you anything. Just tell me what you want," Olivia smiled.

"I-is it ok-kay if we g-get p-pizza ag-gain?" Amanda asked hesitantly.

"Of course."


	6. Chapter 6

After picking up the pizza, the two headed back to Olivia's apartment. The smell of pizza filled the car, and Amanda could hardly wait to eat it. She was hungry, and she was so grateful that Olivia was allowing her to eat.

Lucy left shortly after Olivia and Amanda arrived. Amanda was given permission to sit on the couch. Before serving pizza, Olivia decided she needed to talk to Amanda. She sat next to Amanda.

"Amanda, I need to apologize to you. I didn't know you felt so threatened by me. I had no intention of making you feel like you had to do the rape kit. I didn't mean to scare you into it. I really wouldn't have been angry if you had decided to stop. I am so, so, so, so sorry you felt you didn't have a choice. I wouldn't have brought you to the hospital if I had known you were doing it out of fear of me. I am so, so sorry," Olivia apologized genuinely. The guilt was evident in Olivia's voice. She never meant to scare Amanda into doing a rape kit. Amanda was surprised to hear an apology. Usually, she was the one apologizing and begging for mercy. She seemed to always be blamed for things. Amanda simply nodded.

"Amanda, I really am sorry," Olivia apologized again. Amanda nodded again, not knowing what to say or think.

"Ready for dinner?" Olivia asked. Amanda gave another nod, her eyes lighting up this time. Olivia smiled at the young blonde before getting up from the couch. Amanda started to get up, but Olivia stopped her.

"I'll get your food. Stay here," Olivia smiled. Amanda nodded, and Olivia went to the kitchen.

Olivia prepared her son's plate with a juice box. She placed him in his high chair, and he immediately began literally digging into his pizza. He began tearing his pizza apart and eating it like that. Olivia chuckled at her son as she prepared Amanda's plate. She placed two slices of pizza on the plate. She grabbed a glass of water as well, knowing Amanda would want it to drink. Olivia served her own plate before heading to the couch.

"Here you go," Olivia smiled, handing Amanda her plate.

"Thank you," Amanda whispered, a small, but bright, smile on her face.

"Of course," Olivia said. Amanda started eating while Olivia found something to watch on tv. She was going to watch the news, but decided against it. The news seemed to be always negative, and Olivia was trying to convince Amanda she was safe. Olivia decided on The Golden Girls.

"Thank you, Olivia, for letting me eat and drink again," Amanda spoke up a few minutes later.

"Of course, Amanda. Anytime you are hungry or thirsty, you're always welcomed to get food or water," Olivia told her.

"Thank you. He didn't let me eat a lot, and I had to work for it. Thank you for not making me work for it," Amanda said gratefully. Olivia's heart sank. She didn't know how Amanda worked for food and water, but she knew it must've been terrible.

"Of course," Olivia whispered. Amanda continued to eat, but Olivia no longer felt hungry.

"Hey, Amanda? Just so you know, water isn't the only thing you're allowed to drink. We have sodas and juice and wine," Olivia stated. Amanda went quiet for a moment.

"Amanda?" Olivia asked when the young blonde didn't answer.

"I prefer water. I never know when I'll get it again," Amanda admitted, her gaze on the floor.

"Here, you can have water or anything else anytime you want it. I'll never make you work for it or beg for it. I'll never leave you thirsty or starving. You don't have to go hungry anymore," Olivia said seriously. Amanda glanced up.

"Thank you, Olivia. I promise I'll be a good girl. Thank you for letting me have food and water," Amanda smiled.

"Amanda, that's another thing I want to talk about. You don't need to promise me you'll be a good girl. You have been a very good girl, and I'm really not concerned about your behavior," Olivia explained.

"I just don't want to get in trouble. You've been really nice, and I don't want to make you v-violent," Amanda admitted, her voice a whisper.

"Oh, sweetheart. I promise I'll never get violent with you. I only get violent with perps, and you're not a perp. You don't need to keep promising you'll be a good girl. You're not a bad girl, and I don't know what that man did to make you think you were, and I don't know what he did to punish you if you were a bad girl, but that won't happen here. You're safe here. No one is gonna hurt you, especially me," Olivia promised. Olivia felt horrible that Amanda had endured so much violence. Olivia didn't want Amanda to be afraid of her. She would never hurt the young blonde, and she hoped the young blonde would understand that.

"Thank you, Olivia," Amanda smiled quietly. Olivia's heart sank. Amanda shouldn't have to thank Olivia for not beating the crap out of her.

After they ate, Olivia decided a shower was needed. Olivia hadn't showered since the previous day, and Amanda had just been at the hospital for a rape kit. They both needed to shower.

"Hey, Amanda? Do you think you could take a shower?" Olivia asked, doing her best not to scare Amanda. Amanda looked at the older woman fearfully. Why didn't Olivia understand how dangerous showers?

"I don't want to. Please, Olivia. Please, don't make me," Amanda whispered. Olivia hated that Amanda was so afraid to shower. What did she expect to happen?

"Amanda, nothing bad is going to happen to you in the shower, I promise. Why are you so afraid of showering?" Olivia wondered. Amanda let out a whimper in response.

"Honey, you were just at the hospital. It would be a good idea if you showered. I promise you'll be safe," Olivia tried to convince the young blonde.

"Okay," she whispered. Olivia had been kind to Amanda. Amanda had disobeyed her plenty of times, and Olivia never once whipped her like he did. The least the younger woman could do was be obedient.

"How about if I shower first so you can see that it's not dangerous?" Olivia suggested. That seemed like a trick to Amanda. Of course, Olivia wouldn't get hurt in the shower. The bosses don't get hurt. Only Amanda gets hurt. Still, Amanda agreed to have Olivia shower first to hold off on her own for as long as she could.

While Olivia showered, Amanda sat on the bed, waiting for her to come out. She fidgeted with her hands, terrified of what was to come. She hated showers. Bad things happened in the showers. Olivia said she was safe. Why was she trying to force Amanda to shower?

Amanda's breath caught in her throats when she heard the water turn off. A couple of minutes later, she heard the hair dryer. She winced at the noise. She hated loud noises. Ten minutes later, Olivia emerged from the bathroom. Amanda scooted back a little, scared of taking her turn in the shower.

Olivia went over to her dresser to grab some clothes for Amanda to wear. Amanda thought about begging Olivia to let her out of taking a shower, but she didn't want to anger her. Olivia fed her and gave her water. Olivia didn't even keep her chained up. Amanda didn't want to lose those privileges.

"Come on. You'll feel better after getting all nice and clean," Olivia told her. Amanda followed her into the bathroom.

Olivia took note of Amanda's limping. The poor girl had been beaten and violently raped for about a year. She must've been in so much pain. She winced at almost every movement. Olivia turned the shower on, causing Amanda to flinch.

"You can take your clothes off," Olivia informed her. Amanda inhaled shakily. The thought of taking her clothes off frightened her. Still, she didn't want to upset Olivia. She reached for her shirt. She started unbuttoning it. Olivia could tell how hard of a time Amanda was having undressing herself. She was so sore and so scared.

"Here, let me help," Olivia offered. She stepped closer and began unbuttoning her shirt. Amanda flinched.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry," Amanda whispered for not undressing fast enough.

"It's all right. You're okay," Olivia told her. Amanda froze as Olivia took her clothes off. He didn't like when she resisted as he undressed her. Tears were welling up in her eyes.

Olivia peeled off the shirt, leaving only a bra on Amanda's upper half of her body. Amanda tried to cover herself with her arms. Olivia's eyes widened at the bruises, gashes, and scars on Amanda. The previous day, Amanda had rushed around in the bathroom too much for Olivia to pay much attention her to beaten body.

Trying to ignore the wounds, she began unbuckling the belt. She slid the belt through the loops, causing Amanda to flinch. Olivia noticed Amanda's eyes were glued to the belt.

"It's all right," Olivia promised, tossing the belt aside. Amanda flinched again. Olivia undid the jeans. She could tell Amanda was scared, and she felt horrible for that, but Amanda needed help getting undressed. Unfortunately, Amanda thought she was being punished for not showering when Liv told her to the previous day.

"You can take off your undergarments yourself. I'll just be here if you need help, and then, I'll leave you to shower," Olivia informed her. Amanda turned her back to Olivia in an effort to hide as much of her body as she could. She hated when people saw her naked. Whenever she was naked, she got hurt.

As Amanda turned her back to Olivia, Olivia gasped. There were huge, deep gashes on Amanda's back. Some of the gashes had turned into scars, but some of them looked only days old. They needed to be cleaned.

"Oh, Amanda," Olivia whispered, touching her back. Amanda flinched at the physical contact.

"Don't! Please, don't!" Amanda begged.

"It's okay. I'm not gonna hurt you. Can you tell me how you got these gashes?" Olivia asked.

"Fr-from wh-whippings," Amanda answered, her voice trembling.

"Oh, honey. Okay, that's all over. You won't get anymore whippings. I promise. Honey, that looks so painful. Here, let me clean them," Olivia told her. She grabbed a bottle of hydrogen peroxide from the cabinet, and Amanda flinched back.

"P-please, d-don't put a-alcohol on them. Please. It hurts so bad," Amanda whimpered.

"Sweetheart, this isn't alcohol. This is medicine to keep your wounds from getting infected," Olivia explained. She grabbed some cotton balls and soaked them with the hydrogen peroxide. Those large gashes made Olivia want to cry. They looked so painful, and she felt terrible for Amanda.

Olivia began to dab a cotton ball on one of Amanda's gashes. Amanda flinched at the contact and let out a small cry. She quickly moved away from Olivia.

"Please. You said you wouldn't hurt me," Amanda whimpered, her voice raspy.

"I'm so sorry, sweetheart. I know it stings, but I promise it'll help you," Olivia tried to explain. Amanda backed into a corner, feeling scared and betrayed.

"You said you wouldn't hurt me. You said you wouldn't hurt me," Amanda repeated, her voice a whisper.

"Sweetheart, I promise I'm not trying to hurt you. I'm so sorry it stings, but that's not the intention. Please, come over here so I can finish cleaning them. The sting will go away in a moment," Olivia told her. Amanda made no effort to move, even though she knew disobedience would only make things worse.

Olivia sighed. She hated that she was causing Amanda pain, but those gashes needed to be cleaned. She took a step closer to Amanda, accidentally sending Amanda into a panic.

"Please, don't hurt me! Please! You promised you wouldn't! Please! I'll be a good girl! Don't hurt me anymore, please!" Amanda cried, absolutely terrified. Olivia had been so kind to her. She didn't understand why Olivia was trying to hurt her now.

"Amanda, this is only to help you," Olivia tried to explain. Amanda continued to cry and beg Olivia not to hurt her.

Realizing Amanda wasn't going to understand that Olivia wasn't trying to hurt her, Olivia decided not to clean the gashes anymore. Olivia knew the gashes needed to be cleaned, but she didn't want to frighten Amanda any further. Amanda had been through enough pain and fear. The gashes would just have to wait. It was bad enough she scared Amanda into doing a rape kit. She wasn't going to cause Amanda pain by cleaning the gashes on her back, even though pain wasn't the goal.

"Okay, Amanda. I won't clean your wounds right now. It's all right. See, I'm putting it away. No more pain," Olivia said, placing the hydrogen peroxide back in the cabinet. She approached Amanda again, keeping her hands up to show Amanda she wouldn't harm her.

"I will leave now, and you can take your shower. I'll be right outside the bathroom. Just let me know if you need anything," Olivia spoke softly. Olivia exited the bathroom, and Amanda finished taking off her clothes.

Amanda stepped into the shower. The water felt warm enough. It wasn't freezing or burning, which Amanda was grateful for. As she showered, she cried. She was so scared Olivia would try to hurt her again. Olivia kept saying she was helping her, not trying to hurt her, but Amanda knew better than to believe that.

Olivia sat on her bed, waiting for Amanda to finish showering. Olivia finally understood why belts frightened Amanda. She'd been beaten with them so many times. Olivia winced at the idea of a leather belt hitting Amanda's skin until she bled. She felt guilty for trying to clean Amanda's gashes, even though she didn't do anything wrong. She wasn't trying to harm Amanda; she was trying to help her. However, Amanda seemed to think Olivia purposely causing her pain.

Amanda took her time drying off. She didn't want to face Olivia for fear that the older woman would be angry. She worried Olivia would try to pour alcohol on her gashes. After Amanda put on the clothes Olivia grabbed for her, Amanda remembered Olivia trying to assure her it wasn't alcohol. She kept saying it was hydrogen peroxide. Amanda opened the cabinet to look at what she thought was a bottle of alcohol. She grabbed the bottle to see that the label confirmed it was hydrogen peroxide. Olivia hadn't been lying. She really wasn't pouring alcohol on Amanda's gashes. That didn't change the fact that it hurt though. Olivia still hurt her.

Amanda exited the bathroom. She was surprised to see Olivia sitting on the bed. She noticed Olivia looked tired, but she still gave Amanda a warm smile. Amanda kept her distance from Olivia, afraid she would try to hurt her.

"Are you ready for bed? I think we both need some sleep," Olivia stated. Amanda nodded. Olivia stood up from the bed and gestured for Amanda to get in the bed. Amanda laid down, wincing when her back made contact with the mattress.

"Amanda, are you don't want me to clean those gashes?" Olivia asked.

"P-please, don't hurt me, Olivia. You promised not to," Amanda begged. Olivia's heart sank.

"I am so sorry that you thought I was trying to hurt you. I really didn't mean to hurt you. I am so sorry," Olivia apologized. She couldn't believe Amanda really thought she was trying to hurt her with that hydrogen peroxide. Olivia understood it stung, but she wasn't trying to cause Amanda pain. She was only trying to clean her opened wounds so they wouldn't get infected.


	7. Chapter 7

_"You've been a bad girl, Mandy," he growled. Amanda whimpered. She was huddled up in the corner, as though curling up in a ball would protect her from the torture that was to come. She didn't mean to be bad. She wasn't even sure what she did that was wrong, but if he said she was a bad girl, then bad things were going to happen._

 _Tight metal chains restrained her. She couldn't move more than a few feet. The chains were the most frightening when he came into the basement because she knew she couldn't escape from him. All she could do was cry and beg for the mercy that he never gave her._

 _She had been here for a couple of months now. She didn't know her exact location. She just knew she was in a basement. She had given up on trying to figure out where she was. She didn't care where she was; she just wanted to leave._

 _"And we know what happens to bad girls, don't we?" He smirked. Amanda whimpered again._

 _"Don't we?!" He growled, slapping her across the face, when she didn't answer. Amanda let out a sob._

 _"Y-y-yes," she whimpered. He stroked her cheek, smirking when she flinched._

 _"What happens to them?" He asked. He eyed her trembling body. She was dressed only in a bra and underwear. She didn't always have that luxury though. Sometimes, he'd leave her completely undressed._

 _"Th-th-they g-get p-p-punished," Amanda whimpered. Tears were sliding down her face._

 _"Do you know why you're getting punished?" He questioned. Amanda shook her head. She rarely knew why she got punished._

 _"Last night, a customer said you bit him," he hissed. She remembered biting the customer, but she also remembered it being an accident. The customer had forced himself inside of Amanda's mouth. She was gagging. He slapped her, and she accidentally bit him. She didn't do that on purpose. She knew she would be punished for that. She had cried and begged for forgiveness, but the customer apparently held a grudge._

 _"I-I-I'm s-s-sorry. I-I d-d- I d-didn't m-mean t-to," Amanda pleaded, terrified of what was to come._

 _"Shut up!" He boomed, slapping her across her bruised face again. Amanda cried out in pain. She tried to scoot further into the corner, but she was already as far back as she could go._

 _The man took her chains off and threw her a few feet away. He didn't want her to be huddled up in the corner while he beat her because, then, he would hit less areas._

 _Amanda couldn't decide what was worse between being chained or unchained. When she was chained, she had no way to escape from the torturous acts he would perform. She had no hope of going any further than a few feet. However, when he unchained he, she could try to run. She never did thiugh. She wouldn't get very far anyway, and the punishment wasn't worth the risk. When she was unchained, she was as trapped as she was chained. So what was worse? Being chained down with no hope of escape, or being unchained and knowing you still weren't free?_

 _The man undid his belt. Amanda was sobbing by this point. She was begging for mercy. There was no point though. He liked watching her beg, and he never went any easier on her because of her begging. He raised the belt and brought it down hard on Amanda. The first hit landed on her arms. As the beating continued, most hits landed on her torso. She wasn't sure how long the whipping went on for, but when he was done, she was covered in her own blood._

 _He unbuttoned his jeans. Amanda knew what was coming next. It was the only thing that caused her to wish her whipping wasn't over._

 _"P-p-please, d-don't. P-please, d-don't," Amanda begged._

 _"I have to teach you to be a good girl," the man snarled. He held Amanda's mouth open._

 _"You will swallow. You will not bite. If you bite, I'll punish you so bad you'll wish I was just making you give me oral," he threatened her. He forced himself inside of Amanda's mouth, causing her to gag._

 _Amanda obeyed. She swallowed. She didn't bite. She cried through the whole thing. When he finally came out of her, he gripped her by her hair and yanked her back to the wall. He chained her back up and exited the basement, turning the lights off._

 _Amanda hated the dark, but at least he would leave her alone for now. She gagged and cried. At one point, she even threw up. She knew she'd have to pay for that later. She hugged her knees to her chest and cried, wishing she could escape this house of horrors_.

Amanda's eyes shot open. It took her a second to realize the loud cries were her own. Her body was trembling. The soft mattress was now the basement's concrete floor. She was chained down. She couldn't escape. The room was dark. He would be coming back anytime now. Amanda was wailing, terrified of what was to come whenever the man came back to the basement.

The lights turned on seconds later. Amanda started screaming. _He_ was back. _He_ was going to beat her. _He_ was going to punish her. _He_ was going to rape her. _He_ was going to send customers down here. The torture was about to resume.

"P-please, don't! Please, don't!" Amanda shrieked, knowing that would do no good. Her eyes were squeezed shut, and her sobs were loud.

"Please! I-I'll be a g-good g-girl!" Amanda pleaded.

"Amanda," a female's soft voice spoke. Amanda didn't dare open her eyes. She continued to sob.

"Amanda, honey, it's okay. You had a nightmare. You're safe, sweetheart. Please, look at me," Olivia softly pleaded.

Still crying hard, Amanda opened her eyes. She glanced around the room. She wasn't back in that basement. The concrete floor was actually a soft mattress. The metal chains on her wrists were blankets. The scary man in front of her just Olivia.

Olivia sat on the bed. She gently grabbed Amanda's hands. Amanda flinched back, momentarily thinking Olivia was going to chain her down.

"It's all right. You're safe, Amanda. No one is going to hurt you," Olivia promised.

"N-no m-more b-belts. N-no more b-belts. N-n-no m-more or-oral. N-no m-more. P-please, O-Olivia. I-I didn't m-mean to b-bite him. P-please, d-don't p-punish me," Amanda cried.

"Amanda, ssshh. You had a nightmare. No one was hurting you with a belt. No one made you have oral. No one is going to punish you," Olivia tried to assure her.

"B-but h-he d-did," Amanda whispered.

"I know he did, and I am so, so sorry. But that didn't happen right now. Just now, you had a nightmare. He wasn't hurting you right now. You're safe," Olivia explained. Amanda let out a sob.

"P-please, d-don't l-let h-him h-hurt m-me a-anym-more," Amanda cried. Olivia pulled Amanda into a hug, but Amanda flinched away.

"I-I promise I-I'll be a g-good girl," Amanda sobbed.

"I promise I'll never let him hurt you again. I promise," Olivia told her. Olivia tried again to hug Amanda. She slowly and gently placed an arm around Amanda. Amanda was too exhausted and too scared to move away.

"You're okay. You're safe now. No one will hurt you again, Amanda. You're safe. No one is going to punish you. No one will hurt you," Olivia tried to soothe the trembling, young blonde. Amanda was quiet, apart from sniffles, whimpers, and gasps for air.

"Ssshhh," Olivia repeated over and over in an attempt to comfort Amanda. After a few minutes, Amanda found her shaky voice.

"Y-you r-really won't h-hurt me with the a-alcohol?" Amanda asked through a whimper.

"Sweetheart, that wasn't even alcohol. It was only medicine to clean those gashes. It was to keep them from getting infected. I'm so sorry that it stung. I should've told you that beforehand. I promise I wasn't trying to hurt you. I would never, ever want to hurt you, sweet girl," Olivia answered.

"Are-are you g-gonna put it on me ag-gain?" Amanda wondered.

"Not without your permission," Olivia assured her.

"Really?" Amanda whispered. No one ever gave Amanda that kind of control.

"Really. I don't want to do anything to you that's going to scare or hurt you. I won't do anything without your permission," Olivia confirmed. Amanda nodded, not sure she believed Olivia.

"Do you want to talk about your nightmare?" Olivia asked. Amanda shook her head.

"Please, don't make me," she whimpered.

"I won't. I won't make you do anything," Olivia promised. Amanda had been forced to do enough things. Olivia wasn't going to control Amanda like her abusers did.

Amanda continued to cry, still traumatized by the nightmare. She was terrified of that man. She was afraid he would come back and hurt her again.

"You're okay. You're safe. I promise," Olivia continued to soothe the young blonde.

Amanda hesitantly crawled into Olivia's lap. Olivia stiffened, surprised, but certainly not upset, by the action. For a second, she wasn't sure how to react. When Olivia stopped speaking her soft words, Amanda panicked, thinking she had done something wrong. She scrambled out of her lap.

"I-I'm s-sorry. I'm sorry. I-I w-won't do it again," Amanda apologized, terrified of being punished.

"No, it's okay, sweetheart. I was just surprised is all. You didn't do anything wrong. Come here," Olivia said, pulling Amanda into a hug. Amanda flinched away.

"No, I'm sorry. Please, don't hurt me. I'll be good," Amanda begged.

"Ssshhh, honey. It's okay. I'm not mad," Olivia promised. Amanda nodded, hoping Olivia was telling the truth. Olivia stroked her hair. Amanda flinched, but didn't move away this time

"You're okay. You're safe. No one will hurt you. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. I'll protect you. You're safe here," Olivia continued to soothe the young blonde.

About a half hour later, Amanda had calmed down. It finally got through her head that she wasn't in any immediate danger. No one was hurting her. No one was making her have sex. No one had chained her down. She still had on clothes, and no one was making her take them off. She was safe, even though she didn't feel safe.

"Are you ready to go back to sleep?" Olivia asked softly, noticing Amanda yawn. Amanda nodded her head, and Olivia helped her get under the covers. She decided against tucking her in, not wanting the young blonde to feel trapped.

"I'll be right in the living room if you need anything," Olivia told her. Amanda nodded, even though she knew that if she needed anything, she wouldn't voice it.

"Good night, Amanda," Olivia whispered. She headed towards the door, switching the lights off.

"No, please!" Amanda suddenly cried.

"Amanda, what's wrong?" Olivia asked alarmed.

"P-please, c-can th-the l-lights st-stay o-on?" Amanda asked quietly.

"Oh, of course, sweetheart. I'm just going to dim them a bit so they won't too bright," Olivia told her. Amanda nodded, relieved Olivia was allowing her to keep the lights on. Olivia dimmed them enough so they weren't too bright, but so Amanda could still see everything in the room.

"Is this okay?" Olivia softly asked. Amanda nodded.

"Thank you," she mumbled.

"Of course, sweetheart," Olivia whispered, exiting the room.

Olivia laid back on the couch. She couldn't get Amanda's screams of terror out of her head. She felt horrible that the young blonde had experienced so much pain and was too scared to talk about it. She absolutely hated that Amanda felt like she was in constant danger. Olivia wanted Amanda to feel safe, and she was willing to do whatever she had to in order to prove to Amanda she would never hurt her.


	8. Chapter 8

Olivia woke up around six in the morning. She got up to make a pot of coffee. She was tired from the previous night, and she knew Amanda must've been exhausted. Caffeine, Olivia figured, was a necessity for today.

Olivia was on her second cup of coffee when Amanda hesitantly walked into the kitchen. The fear in those blue eyes told Olivia that the young blonde was unsure if she was allowed to enter the room. Olivia noticed Amanda was very tensed up, and it broke the brunette's heart to see Amanda so scared. Her shoulders were hunched as though she was trying to keep to herself as much as she possibly could.

"Good morning, Amanda," Olivia smiled warmly, wanting the young blonde to know she was safe and allowed to come into the kitchen.

"G-good morning," Amanda whispered.

"Would you like some water?" Olivia offered.

"Y-yes, p-please, i-if that's okay," Amanda mumbled, keeping her gaze on the ground.

"Of course, it's okay," Olivia tried to assure her. She grabbed a glass and filled it with water before handing it to Amanda.

"Thank you," Amanda said gratefully.

"Did you sleep okay?" Olivia asked. Amanda nodded. She was lying. She didn't sleep well, but she wouldn't tell Olivia that. Olivia figured Amanda was lying, but she decided to leave it alone.

"So Amanda, I was thinking you and I could go back to the precinct today and go over your statement again," Olivia brought up. Amanda just nodded, not wanting to argue.

"Do you want some breakfast?" Olivia asked. Amanda glanced up and nodded, her eyes lighting up like they always did whenever Olivia offered her food. It both melted and broke Olivia's heart to see those blue eyes light up. The excitement of getting to eat melted her heart, and that same excitement broke it. Amanda shouldn't have had to go hungry for so long. Eating shouldn't be such a luxurious activity for the young blonde.

"You can look in the pantry or fridge and grab whatever you want to eat. I need to wake Noah and get him ready for when Lucy comes," Olivia stated. Amanda nodded.

"And Amanda, I mean it when I say you can eat whatever you want," Olivia said seriously.

"Thank you," Amanda whispered. Olivia smiled and went to Noah's room.

Amanda looked in the pantry. Olivia said she could have whatever she wanted, but Amanda still feared eating something she shouldn't. She found cereals, but she figured they were for Noah, and she didn't want to eat any of his breakfast foods. She knew young children could be picky eaters.

She opened the freezer, wondering if there were any waffles. Her eyes scanned the freezer and found the waffles. As she was about to grab the box, she found a carton of chocolate ice cream. Amanda couldn't even remember the last time she had ice cream.

"Did you find anything?" Olivia asked, entering the kitchen with her son in her arms. Amanda gave a sheepish smile before pulling out the ice cream.

Noah had tried many times to convince his mother ice cream was, in fact, a healthy breakfast. Each time, Olivia won the argument. Noah cheered in agreement with Amanda, wanting ice cream for breakfast. Amanda hadn't had ice cream in so long she almost forgot what it tasted like. She remembered she loved it though. She seemed to have forgotten that it wasn't a breakfast food, or an entrée for any other meal.

Olivia couldn't help but laugh at Amanda's choice of breakfast. She thought it was cute. Normally, Olivia never would've given Noah ice cream for breakfast, but she knew if she allowed Amanda to have it, she would let Noah as well.

"Well, I did say whatever you wanted," Olivia sighed in amusement. Amanda's smile grew. Olivia would've preferred to give Amanda something healthier, seeing as she was so underweight and had been deprived of a good meal for so long. However, Amanda had found the courage to ask Olivia for something, and Olivia didn't want to scare her by denying her what she asked for. She worried that if she told Amanda no, Amanda would think she'd done something wrong and be too scared to ask for anything again. Besides, a little ice cream for breakfast never hurt anyone.

The three of them sat at the table. Each of them had a bowl of chocolate ice cream at barely seven in the morning. More ice cream got around Noah's mouth instead of inside it, and Olivia wondered how that was possible. Olivia ate her ice cream, feeling a bit silly that she was eating it for breakfast. She had the smallest amount of ice cream. Amanda eating her ice cream was the longest amount of time Olivia had seen her smile, and that was the reason she went along with ice cream for breakfast. She would let Amanda have ice cream for every meal if it meant the young blonde would smile more.

There was a knock on the door, which startled Amanda. She momentarily froze in her place. Worst case scenarios ran through her mind. Olivia could see the fear in Amanda's eyes.

"It's okay, Amanda. It's just Lucy, Noah's sitter," Olivia explained. She went to answer the door, and Amanda relaxed when she heard the other voice was, in fact, a female's voice.

Lucy followed Olivia into the kitchen. Olivia immediately felt embarrassed about the three bowls of ice cream on the table. Now that there was a stranger in the kitchen, Amanda no longer felt hungry. She kept her gaze away from Lucy.

"Hi, Lucy! Mommy made ice cream for breakfast!" Noah shouted excitedly.

"Oh, awesome! Now, you'll be all hyper all day! Thanks, Olivia," Lucy joked. Both women laughed. After talking to Lucy for a few minutes, Olivia asked Amanda to come with her to get ready to go to the precinct.

Olivia picked out outfits for the both of them. Olivia let Amanda change in the bathroom, while she changed in the bedroom. After they got dressed, brushed teeth, and brushed their hair, Olivia explained to Amanda that she would be giving her statement similarly to the day before.

"I was thinking that afterwards, you and I could go to the mall so you could get some clothes," Olivia suggested.

"I don't have any money," Amanda mumbled.

"I'll buy them for you. If you're gonna be staying here, you need to get come clothes of your own," Olivia smiled.

"H-how will I work it off?" Amanda asked nervously.

"You won't. You don't owe me anything," Olivia said seriously. Amanda smiled.

"Thank you, Olivia."

Olivia smiled back. The two of them headed to the precinct. The car ride was silent, but Olivia noticed that Amanda seemed a bit more relaxed than the previous day.

"Olivia?" Amanda whispered.

"Yes?"

"I-I'm s-sorry I woke you up," Amanda apologized.

"Don't be sorry. It's not your fault," Olivia smiled softly. Amanda didn't respond, and they were both silent for a few more moments.

"So ice cream is your ideal breakfast?" Olivia joked.

"I-I found it on accident. It looked good," Amanda mumbled, a small smile on her face.

"I hope it tasted as good as it looked," Olivia responded.

"It did!" Amanda said excitedly. Olivia laughed. This was the happiest she'd seen Amanda since they met a few days ago. She wished she had offered Amanda ice cream sooner.

"Thank you," Amanda whispered, remembering her manners. Olivia smiled in response.

When they reached the precinct, Olivia could tell that Amanda was nervous. She was fidgeting, and she kept her head bowed. Olivia gave her a sympathetic look.

"You're safe here, remember?" Olivia reminded her. Amanda nodded, but her eyes didn't match the motion.

"I promise. No one is going to hurt you," Olivia told her seriously. Amanda shook her head.

"Everyone hurts me," Amanda whispered.

"I haven't hurt you, and I never will. Neither will the people inside this building," Olivia said, trying to convince her not everyone was a predator. Amanda still didn't believe her, but she got out of the car and followed the older woman into the building.

Similar to the day before, Amanda practically clung to Olivia as they walked through the hallways. Amanda was very frightened by all the men she saw. She was convinced they were all rapists; they were all somebody's customer.

"No customers. No customers. Olivia said I was safe. No customers," Amanda mumbled to herself over and over.

"No one here is a customer. You're safe. No one will hurt you," Olivia promised.

They entered the squad room, and Amanda saw the two male detectives from the previous days. They slowly got up from their desks and approached the lieutenant.

"Everything all right?" Detective Fin asked.

"Amanda and I are gonna try to get her statement again," Olivia explained.

"Can I get you anything, Miss Rollins?" Detective Carisi asked. Amanda shook her head and looked down.

"Do you want water?" Olivia asked, knowing that Amanda always wanted water. She nodded.

"Yes, please," she whispered.

"Amanda, while Detective Carisi gets your water, you and I are going to go back to the interview room we were in yesterday. Is that okay?" Olivia asked, wanting Amanda to be aware of everything that was going on. The young blonde nodded.

Olivia lead Amanda to the interview room. They both sat down, and Amanda immediately began fidgeting. Her hands were shaking. She was nervous to talk about what she'd been through. _He_ made it very clear that if she ever got away, _he_ would always come back. She didn't want to tell on _him_ if _he_ was only going to get her again. However, she was worried if she didn't answer every question correctly Olivia would be upset. Olivia could see the tears starting to well up in the young blonde's eyes.

"Amanda, you're safe here. You won't get into any trouble for anything that you tell me," Olivia told her. Amanda didn't respond. The door opened, startling Amanda.

Carisi approached the two, holding a cold water bottle. As he came closer, Amanda tensed even more and looked at Olivia fearfully. He set the water bottle in front of Amanda.

"Here you go," Carisi smiled.

"Thank you," she whispered, barely audible. Carisi gave a slight nod before exiting the room.

"So Amanda, we really need to talk about where you've been for the last year," Olivia slowly began.

"I don't wanna go back, Olivia. Please, if I tell you, don't make me go back. Please," Amanda begged.

"Amanda, I can promise you, you are never going back there. Remember? You're safe with me. You won't have to go back," Olivia promised. She wasn't sure if Olivia was being truthful, but the young blonde nodded anyway.

"So yesterday, when we talked, you talked about being a basement. You said you had a boss. Can you tell me about that?" Olivia asked.

"M-my b-boss m-made me w-work. He-he kept me in ch-chains," Amanda whispered.

"He made you work? Is that why you had customers?" Olivia asked. Amanda nodded as more tears welled up in your eyes.

"What did you do for your customers?" Olivia slowly asked. Amanda started to cry, and she brought her hands to her face.

"I can't tell you. Please, I can't tell you. He's gonna come back. He'll be mad if I tell," Amanda whimpered.

"Sweetheart, he's not gonna come back. I promise you that. He can't ever touch you again. Whatever he made you do, you can tell me. You're not in any trouble," Olivia told her.

"C-c-customers p-paid h-him," Amanda shakily responded. Olivia took a deep breath, hating where this was going.

"What did they pay him for?" Olivia asked.

"M-m-me," Amanda whispered.

"So they paid him in exchange for time with you?" Olivia confirmed. Amanda nodded.

"Okay, and wha did the customers do during their time with you?" Olivia questioned. Amanda let out a sob. Her body was trembling.

"Th-they m-m-made m-me h-have s-s-sex, a-and th-they h-hit me a l-lot," Amanda cried.

"Did you have customers everyday?" Olivia asked.

"A-almost," she whimpered.

Olivia managed to convince the young blonde to go into detail about what the customers did to her by asking very specific questions. Amanda was forced to give her customers oral. They raped her anally and vaginally. She was forced to perform sexual acts every single day with the punishment of beatings when she disobeyed. Most customers came around more than once. Her customers were all allowed to hit whenever they wanted, but it was her boss who beat her everyday. He often whipped her with belts, which explained why Amanda was absolutely terrified of the leather material, leaving angry, deep welts all over her body. She was given less than a meal a day. She usually was given a piece of bread with half an apple. He didn't let her wear clothes, except for a bra and underwear if she behaved.

Even with all of those details, Olivia barely knew about half of the story. Amanda admitted to being raped, but she refused to go into details about it, and Olivia had to thoroughly question her just to know she was raped. In fact, most of the details Olivia knew was only because she asked thorough, specific questions and lot of them. Olivia could tell that Amanda was still holding back a ton of details, and she wondered what other torture that man possibly could've put Amanda through.

It had been about an hour, and they were only a couple of months into Amanda's captivity. Amanda only gave a couple of specific stories about what happened. Everything else were things that happened in general. Olivia had a basic idea of what happened, but she could tell it was only the tip of the iceberg. Amanda had been through much more than she was willing to tell Olivia. She would've told her even less, but Olivia asked so many questions, and Amanda wanted to be good and answer the questions.

Amanda was currently sitting, with her knees hugs to her chest, crying. Her body was trembling. Her eyes were wide. She hated answering Olivia's questions. She hadn't told Olivia a whole lot about what happened during her captivity, and she decided she better not say anymore.

"Please, Olivia. I can't tell you anymore. I don't want to. Please, don't make me," Amanda sobbed.

"Amanda, it's okay. We can take a break, but we're gonna have to talk about this again in a little bit," Olivia responded. Amanda started rocking herself back and forth.

"How about this? You just tell me his name, and we can be done for today," Olivia decided. Amanda shook her head.

"I can't tell you! Please, I can't tell you! Please, don't be mad!" Amanda sobbed.

"I'm not mad, sweetheart," Olivia whispered. Amanda continued to cry.

"It's okay. It's okay. I'm sorry I pushed you so hard. We're done for today. It's all right," Olivia promised. Amanda's breathing was unsteady.

"Please, don't tell him. Don't tell him I told. Please," Amanda cried.

"It's all right, Amanda. It's all right. You're safe," Olivia promised. The next fifteen minutes were spent comforting Amanda.

Olivia was disgusted. She had to fight back her own tears. After hearing just a bit of what Amanda had been through, Olivia felt like she needed a shower. She couldn't believe someone could treat someone else so horribly. The young blonde had been tortured, she hadn't even told the full story, and Olivia worried Amanda might not be able to tell the whole story. She wouldn't blame Amanda, but she hoped Amanda would trust her enough to tell her everything. Olivia wanted to find this guy, put him in prison, and throw away the key. She'd like to voice other things she wanted to do to the disgusting man, but such statements wouldn't sound good coming out of a police detective's mouth.

"Remember, we talked about buying you some clothes?" Olivia reminded the young blonde.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/n: hi, everyone! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I appreciate! I know this chapter isn't the greatest, but I promise the next one will be better. If you have any suggestions, I'd love to hear them. Again, thank you for reading! I love writing this story! :)**

As they walked around the mall, Olivia wondered if bringing Amanda here was such a good idea after all. The large amount of people caused her to feel anxious. She stayed very close to Olivia. Her body was noticeably tensed. She tried to avoid eye contact with everyone, as though eye contact would result in her being harmed.

"It's all right, Amanda. No one is going to hurt you," Olivia promised. Amanda didn't respond.

Olivia asked Amanda which stores she liked, but Amanda wouldn't give a straight answer. She would go wherever Olivia took her. They walked around for a while before approaching a store that Amanda didn't catch the name of.

"Okay, Amanda, you're probably a size small. Look around, and choose anything you like," Olivia smiled.

Amanda looked around, but she didn't choose anything. She didn't want to ask Olivia for anything. Olivia realized Amanda was hesitant to choose clothes, so she started picking out things she thought would look good on Amanda. She chose a lot of plaid shirts, a few pairs of jeans and shorts, some sweats, a pair of pajamas, socks, and undergarments.

"Here, Amanda. You can go try these on," Olivia said, handing some of the clothes to Amanda. She only needed to try on a few to make sure the size was correct.

"I-I have to t-take m-my clothes off?" Amanda asked in alarm.

"It's all right, Amanda. They have dressing rooms so you can try on the clothes. No one will see you without clothes," Olivia explained. Amanda had been in dressing rooms before. She was aware of how they worked, but the idea of removing her clothes in a public place still worried her.

"Don't worry. I'll wait right outside and make sure no one comes in," Olivia assured her, seeing as she was still nervous. Amanda gave a small smile in response.

Olivia lead Amanda to the dressing room, and she stayed right outside, just like she promised. Through gap between the floor and the bottom of the door Amanda could see Olivia's shoes, so she knew Olivia really wasn't going to let anyone come in.

She slowly began taking her clothes off. When she finally got her shirt off, she looked in the mirror, studying her wounds. Her torso was covered in bruises, scars, burns, and gashes. She was horrified.

"I'm so ugly," Amanda whispered to herself.

Amanda began unbuttoning her jeans. She managed to get them off, and her reflection reminded her of the dark bruises on her inner thighs. She stared at the reflection, getting lost in her memories.

She remembered the horrible times when her legs were forced apart. Men had paid her boss before forcing themselves inside of her. Her cries of anguish were never enough. She used to beg for mercy, but they never listened. They would force her mouth open, and if she bit them, she would be violently punished. The men were always rough. She often could barely walk. Even now, she limped. She cried all the time.

 _He entered the basement and approached the young blonde, huddled up in the corner. Her chains always felt heavier when someone else was in the room. She noticed another man behind her boss. This customer had been here before, but she didn't know his name._

 _Her boss unchained her, and she shrank further away. He chuckled before gripping her blonde hair and yanking her to the middle of the room. She scrambled, trying to get away. Then, she realized she wouldn't be getting away, probably ever. She was going to be forced to have sex. They would beat her and hold her down, and it would be worse if she didn't comply._

 _She laid on her back. She wasn't going to be able to escape having sex, so she decided to just make it as painless as she could. They would hit her less if she complied._

 _"Okay, okay. I'll do whatever you want," Amanda whispered, her voice shaking._

 _"Oh, I know you will," her boss smirked, caressing her cheek. She flinched, but she didn't pull away. She wanted to show her boss she could be a good girl. That was the only way to keep herself from getting more hits._

" _You tell me how she does," the man told the customer. The man exited the basement, leaving the customer to do whatever he wanted._

 _"Let's have some fun," the customer growled, a disgusting smirk on his face._

 _Amanda didn't have any clothes on, and the customer's eyes scanned her body. He planted a kiss on her breast. He began kissing her everywhere. His kisses were rough and painful, but Amanda did her best not to cry out. This customer was one of the very, very few who didn't like the struggle._

 _Tears spilled from her eyes, but no sobs escaped her mouth. Her body was tensed, but she didn't fight back. She didn't resist. She let him do whatever he wanted._

Tears welled up in her eyes. She couldn't believe she let him have sex with her. She was disgusting.

 _I deserve everything that happened to me. It's all my fault._ Amanda thought to herself.

Remembering why she was there in the first place, Amanda tried on a plaid shirt and pair of jeans. She tried on a few more outfits before putting her, well Olivia's, clothes back on. She hesitantly opened the door.

"Did everything fit?" Olivia wondered. Amanda nodded her head. Olivia smiled and took the stack of clothes from Amanda.

Olivia paid for the clothes, and Amanda thanked her multiple times. She smiled at the young blonde and told her she was welcome. Amanda was going to hold the bags, but Olivia insisted on carrying them.

"How does lunch sound?" Olivia asked. Amanda's face lit up, and Olivia smiled.

"Let's go to the food court," Olivia suggested.

The two took their time walking across the mall to reach the food court. Olivia made sure to walk slowly, knowing that walking was a struggle for Amanda. Amanda still walked with a limp, and Olivia's heart hurt to know Amanda had been abused so bad.

When they reached the food court, Amanda glanced around, looking at all the places that served meals. Olivia could tell that Amanda was excited to eat again. Her heart broke, knowing Amanda had been deprived of food for so long. Since being with Olivia, Amanda didn't overeat or ask for food, but she always jumped at the opportunity to eat. Olivia wondered if it was because the young blonde was constantly hungry due to being starved, or if it was because Amanda never knew when or if she'd get to eat again. Olivia decided it best not to ask at this time. All she could do was give Amanda three meals a day and remind her she wouldn't be starved anymore.

"Amanda, what would you like to eat?" Olivia wondered. Amanda shrugged.

"I'm going to have a slice of pizza. Would you like that?" Olivia suggested. Amanda's eyes lit up again as she nodded. The two walked over to a pizza parlor.

"What kind do you want?" Olivia wondered. Amanda looked through the hot glass that kept the pizza warmed. She pointed to the one with pepperoni.

"Pepperoni, please?" Amanda asked.

"Of course," Olivia smiled.

Once they got their food, they found a table in the back corner of the food court. Olivia gladly lead the way, knowing Amanda would be more comfortable if she was away from people. When they sat down, Amanda didn't hesitate to dig into her lunch.

"Thank you, Olivia, for th-the clothes and the food," Amanda said gratefully. She couldn't believe how kind the older woman was to her.

"Mommy, we watch Frozen?" Noah asked, holding up the movie.

"Sure, we can do that," Olivia smiled at her son.

"Yay!" Noah cheered.

"Why don't you go see if Amanda wants to watch it with us?" Olivia suggested. Noah nodded his head excitedly before taking off running to his mother's bedroom.

"Don't run!" Olivia called after him.

Noah rushed into his mother's room. There, Amanda was laying on the bed. After giving more of her statement at the precinct and going shopping, she was exhausted. Noah climbed onto the bed and onto Amanda's stomach. Amanda whimpered. The pressure of Noah's weight on her bruised and scarred stomach was causing a great deal of discomfort. Noah was not a heavy kid, but the slightest pressure on Amanda's stomach increased the pain. She gently removed the toddler from her lap.

"Hi, Mandy!" Noah chirped.

"Hi, Noah," Amanda smiled, amused by the young boy's happiness and oblivion to the pain he accidentally caused her.

"Me and Mommy are gonna watch Frozen! Wanna watch it with us?" Noah asked eagerly. Amanda was about to decline, but Noah spoke up again.

"Please, Mandy!" He begged.

"Okay," Amanda smiled.

"Yay!" Noah shouted. He jumped off of the bed and grabbed Amanda's hand.

"Come on, Mandy!" Noah said, pulling on Amanda's hand. Amanda slowly stood up and followed Noah into the living room.

"Gonna join us?" Olivia asked.

"Uh, sure, if that's okay," Amanda mumbled.

"Of course, it is," Olivia smiled warmly. A popping noise caused Amanda to jump, and her eyes to widen. She glanced around the room, trying to figure out where the noise was coming from.

"It's all right, Amanda. It's just the popcorn popping in the microwave," Olivia soothed her. Amanda nodded, a sheepish smile appearing on her face.

When the popcorn was ready, Olivia poured Noah some juice. She gave Amanda some water, and she had a glass of water as well. The three of them sat on the couch, Noah in Olivia's lap and Amanda on the other side of the couch. Olivia had been kind, but the young blonde was still cautious when it came to being too close to the older woman.

Amanda figured this must've been Noah's hundredth time seeing the movie because he sang along to every song. Olivia smiled at her son's happiness and interest in the movie. Frozen had become an annoyance the toddler's mother after about the fifth time of watching it, but it was always worth it to see that bright grin on her son's face. Amanda had never seen the movie before, but she was enjoying it. She thought it was cute, and she was glad it was a light, non-intense movie. Amanda laughed a couple of times throughout the movie, which melted Olivia's heart. It was so nice to hear the glee in Amanda's laugh instead of the fear in her cries. It helped her feel hopeful that Amanda would progress.

Halfway through the movie, Noah fell asleep. Olivia was about to call it a night, but when she saw that Amanda was enjoying the movie, she decided not to. When the movie ended, so did Amanda's short lived happiness. The movie helped her forget the harsh reality of her life, but now that the movie was over, she remembered where she was-in an unsafe world filled with people who wanted to hurt her.

"I'm going to put Noah to bed. You can go change into your pajamas," Olivia whispered to the young blonde.

Amanda went to Olivia's bedroom. She grabbed her new set of pajamas. She headed to Olivia's bathroom. She was still hesitant about taking off her clothes for the fear that someone would come in at any moment, even though she was in a locked bathroom. She changed slowly, trying to be careful of her injuries. As she changed, she realized Olivia didn't make her take a shower today. She wasn't sure if Olivia simply forgot or just decided to let it slide, but she wasn't going to ask. She was glad to be able to escape a shower.

Showers were painful. She didn't understand why Olivia made her take them. Olivia claimed it was only to get cleaned, but when she lived in that basement, showers didn't help her feel clean; they helped her feel pain. When Amanda's clothes came off, she always got hurt. When she was in the shower, it usually meant someone was going to rape her very, very soon. She shuddered at the thought. Since being at Olivia's, Amanda didn't get hurt in the shower. However, she was still convinced it was coming.

Amanda finished changing into her pajamas and unlocked the bathroom door. She went over to the bed and sat down, waiting for Olivia. The young blonde took notice of how soft and comfortable her pajamas were. It was so kind of Olivia to buy her so many clothes.

"Good night, my sweet boy," Olivia whispered to her sleeping son. Noah looked so peaceful as she slept, and Olivia smiled.

Olivia hoped her son would always be the happy child that he was currently. She hoped he could always find a reason to smile. She hoped any pain he experienced would be short lived. She hoped he would never live in fear or constant pain. She hoped he would always be safe.

"I love you so much, Noah," she whispered, kissing her son's forehead.

Olivia went to her bedroom, where she found the petite blonde sitting on the bed. As Olivia approached her, she noticed Amanda slightly tense up. Olivia wished that Amanda wasn't so uneasy around her. She wanted Amanda to know she was safe around her. Olivia would never do anything to cause the younger woman harm, and she hoped the young blonde would start to understand that.

"Good night, Amanda. If you need anything, I'll be right in the living room," Olivia smiled. Amanda nodded before pulling the covers over her body.

"Do you want the lights dimmed or off?" Olivia asked, remembering how Amanda panicked the last time Olivia turned the lights off.

"D-dimmed, p-please, i-if that's okay," Amanda whispered.

"Of course, that's completely okay," Olivia smiled warmly. She dimmed the lights for Amanda as she had once before. Then, Olivia headed to the living room. She laid down on the couch, hoping for both Amanda and herself to get some sleep. Exhaustion quickly put Olivia to sleep.

Amanda stayed awake for two hours. Her thoughts and memories tormented her until her crying put her to sleep around eleven p.m.


	10. Chapter 10

_He entered the basement, causing Amanda to whimper. She was in pain for a beating she received earlier that day. She pulled at the chains even though she knew it was hopeless._

 _"Time for a shower, Mandy," he smirked. Amanda let out another a whimper and scooted further in the corner. He unchained her and dragged her to the basement bathroom._

 _"P-please, n-no. N-no sh-shower, p-please," Amanda begged. She always gets hurt in the shower._

 _"Shut up," he spat, slapping her across the face. Amanda yelped in pain._

 _He turned the shower onto the hottest setting. The man licked his lips, scanning Amanda's body. He took off her bra and underwear before throwing her into the shower. She hit the shower floor with a thud, and the water burned her skin, causing her to yelp again._

 _"Get up!" He boomed, causing Amanda to let out a cry. She shakily stood up._

 _Amanda backed into the corner of the shower, trying to avoid the boiling water. The man gripped her hair and forced her to stand directly under the shower. Amanda was crying and trying to resist the urge to move away from the water, knowing that moving would anger him._

 _The water turned her skin red. Even though she was usually forced to take hot showers, she never got used to the burning pain. He dumped shampoo into her hair, and when Amanda finally jumped away from the water, he punched her stomach. He poured some shampoo into her eyes, causing her to scream out._

 _"Please, it hurts!" Amanda yelped._

 _"It supposed to. Be a good girl, and you won't get shampoo in your eyes," He told her._

 _"I'm sorry. I'll be good," Amanda whimpered, still trying to get the soap out of her eyes._

 _Once the shampoo was rinsed out, the man grabbed a bar of soap. He painfully scrubbed the small woman's body, causing her to cry harder. She flinched away from the soap, earning her another few slaps and punches._

" _Don't move!" He growled. Amanda let out a sob._

 _After her shower was finally over, he dried her hair and body. Then, he lead her back to the main room of the basement, where she was kept chained. However, she wasn't lead to the chains. She was lead to the middle of the room._

 _"P-please, n-no c-customers. P-please," Amanda pleaded through tears._

 _"Lay down," he ordered. She didn't._

" _Lay down!" He screamed._

 _Amanda was frozen. She was so afraid. She didn't want sex. She didn't want to lay down. His eyes filled with even more anger as he shoved her down on her back. He climbed on top of her, and her instincts kicked in. She hit him in the face, not considering the harsh consequences there would be._

 _His face turned red with fury. Amanda immediately began crying harder and apologizing. She laid flat on her back to give him what he wanted, hoping to avoid punishment. He didn't say a word. He simply went to the closet and grabbed a lighter, some cigarettes, and a knife. Amanda scooted against the wall._

 _"I'm sorry," Amanda sobbed. He walked over to her and lit a cigarette._

" _P-p-please, d-d-don't. Please, d-don't. I-I'm s-sorry. I-I'm s-sorry," Amanda apologized, crying very hard._

 _He held the cigarette against Amanda's stomach. She screamed and tried to move, but he held her firmly in place by her neck. He continued to light cigarettes and hold them all over her body. All her screaming and crying_ _wasn't enough to make him stop harming her._

 _She wasn't sure how_ _long it went on for. When he finally stopped burning her skin, he picked up the knife. Amanda screamed and tried to scoot against the wall even further._

 _"Please, don't! Please! I'll be a g-good girl! I pr-promise!" Amanda shrieked. The terror in her eyes amused him. He held her down._

" _You need to learn to behave. I'm sick of you being so disobedient. Bad girls get punished. You deserve this," he growled._

 _He pierced the knife into her skin. Amanda let out a loud cry of pain. She continued to apologize, promise to be good, and beg him to stop. He continued slicing into her skin until the word "disobedient" was carved just above her hip._

 _After he carved into her skin, he kicked her until she was back by her chains. He chained her wrists and ankles. She was crying hysterically, and he kept laughing and telling her she deserved it._

 _"The next time I see you, you better have learned to be a good girl," he spat. He exited the basement, turning the lights off._

 _He didn't return to the basement for two days, but over the course of those two days, she had numerous customers. She was left in her chains, making it difficult to struggle or fight back. The customers had permission to do anything they wanted to her as long as they didn't kill her. For two days, she had no food or water._

 _"Are you going to be a good girl now, Mandy?" He asked two days later_.

Amanda woke up sobbing. The lights being on helped Amanda figure out that she wasn't in the basement, but that didn't calm her crying. Her body was trembling, and her hand was covering the word that had been carved into her skin.

She looked down and found a wet spot on the sheets. She was confused for a moment before realizing that she'd had an accident. That sent her into a panic.

 _Olivia's going to kill me_. Amanda thought to herself. The thought of what Olivia would do to her for wetting the bed frightened her so much.

Olivia woke up to Amanda's wails. She quickly jumped up from the couch and ran to the bedroom. She found Amanda rocking herself on the bed. She was crying so hard, and Olivia's heart shattered for the young blonde.

"Hey, Amanda," Olivia said, gaining Amanda's attention. Amanda's head shot up. She whimpered and scooted against the headboard.

"Did you have a nightmare?" Olivia asked. Amanda nodded her head.

"Okay. It's okay. You're safe," Olivia told her. She approached the younger woman, causing her to freak out even more.

"P-please, st-stay away. Please. I-I'm s-sorry, O-Olivia," Amanda cried, terrified of what would happen when Olivia discovered that she had an accident.

"Honey, what's the matter? I'm not going to hurt you. What's wrong?" Olivia asked confused. She held her hands up to indicate she meant no harm. She slowly sat on the bed, causing Amanda to try to scoot even further back.

"Amanda, can you look at me?" Olivia wondered. Amanda hesitantly looked at the older woman.

Olivia set her hand down and felt something wet. She removed her hand and looked at the spot in confusion. She assumed Amanda may have spilled some water, but she quickly realized Amanda didn't have any water with her.

"Amanda, what happened?" Olivia asked.

"I-I'm s-sorry, O-Olivia. I'm sorry. I-I d-didn't m-mean t-to. P-please, I-I'm so sorry. P-please, d-don't b-be m-mad," Amanda sobbed.

"Amanda, honey, it's all right. It was just an accident. I know you didn't mean to. I'm not mad at you. You didn't do anything wrong," Olivia tried to soothe her.

"I'm such a bad girl. I'm so sorry," Amanda whispered through tears.

"Amanda, stop that. You're not a bad girl. You didn't do anything wrong. You're a good girl. I'm not angry. Don't apologize," Olivia told her.

Amanda continued to cry. Anytime Olivia tried to touch the young blonde, she flinched away. She was convinced she was going to be punished. Olivia was probably furious at Amanda for having an accident.

"Amanda, please, sweetheart. I'm not mad at you. Please, don't cry. It's okay. I would never hurt you," Olivia promised. Amanda finally started to calm down a bit, realizing Olivia hadn't raised a hand against her.

"Amanda, could you please follow me to the bathroom?" Olivia requested.

Even though she was scared, Amanda followed the older woman to the bathroom, not wanting to disobey any of Olivia's orders. Olivia turned the shower on, causing Amanda to flinch.

"N-no, p-please, O-Olivia! Please, d-don't make me sh-shower! Please! I'm sorry for being b-bad! I'll be g-good! Please!" Amanda begged. Her body was trembling as she backed into a corner. Her bottom lip quivered.

"Please, Olivia. Please, it hurts so much. Please, don't make me. I'll be good. I'll do whatever you say," Amanda sobbed.

"Amanda, honey, it's okay. Nothing bad will happen to you in the shower, I promise you. You just need to shower to get cleaned up. You aren't getting punished," Olivia tried to soothe her.

"B-but... but aren't you mad at me?" Amanda asked, not fully trusting Olivia's words.

"No, sweetheart, I'm not mad. Even if I was mad, I would never scream at you or be violent towards you. You're safe with me," Olivia told her.

"Wh-when he w-was m-mad, h-he," Amanda was cut off by her own cries.

"Oh, sweetheart, I know. I know he was a bad man. He can't hurt you anymore," Olivia promised.

"He wasn't bad. I was," Amanda whimpered.

" _No_ , Amanda. Don't you ever say that. _He_ is the bad one, _not_ you. You didn't do anything wrong," Olivia corrected her.

"So n-no belts or l-lighters or kn-knives o-or c-c-customers?" Amanda asked.

"I promise. No belts. No lighters. No knives. No customers. Never again," Olivia confirmed.

"Even though I was bad?" Amanda questioned.

"Sweetheart, you weren't bad. How many times do I have to tell you that before you believe me? You are a good girl. You haven't done anything wrong. You aren't going to be punished, okay?" Olivia tried to convince the young blonde.

"Does that mean I'm still allowed to eat and wear clothes a-and I don't have to b-be ch-chained down?" Amanda asked. Olivia's heart sank.

"Amanda, no matter what, I would never, _ever_ deprive you of food or take away your clothes or chain you down. You're safe here. You don't have to be afraid of me. You don't have to live in fear. You're safe with me," Olivia promised.

It broke Olivia's heart to know that Amanda was controlled for so long. She hated that Amanda has lived in fear. The bruises, burns, cuts, gashes, and scars on the young blonde were so hard to look at. It disgusted her to know that someone tortured the younger woman.

"Thank you, Olivia. Thank you for being nice," Amanda whispered.

She was so grateful that Olivia had shown her kindness. She was grateful that Olivia had yet to raise a hand against her. She hadn't so much as raised her voice at Amanda. Olivia was nice.

Instead of daily beatings, Amanda was getting daily meals. Instead of being screamed at, Amanda was spoken to in a soft, soothing voice. Instead of being chained up, Amanda was allowed to sleep in a nice, comfortable bed. Amanda had no idea why, but Olivia was kind to her.

"You don't have to thank me for treating you like a human instead of a slave," Olivia said softly. They were quiet for a few moments before Amanda spoke up.

"Are-are you sure th-the shower is s-safe?" Amanda asked quietly.

"Yes, sweetheart. I promise the shower is safe," Olivia confirmed. Amanda nodded.

"Do you need help getting undressed?" Olivia questioned. Amanda was still sore and in pain, and she was exhausted from her nightmare and panic attack. Getting undressed wouldn't be simple. Amanda's face flashed with fear at the thought of Olivia taking her clothes off, and Olivia noticed the young blonde's fear.

"I'm not gonna hurt you," Olivia reminded her. Amanda nodded and allowed Olivia to help her get undressed.

Amanda flinched whenever Olivia touched her, but at least she was compliant. When Amanda was undressed, she used her arms to cover her body, not wanting Olivia to see her private parts. Olivia felt the water to make sure it was warm enough for Amanda. Amanda looked at the shower fearfully.

"Is it gonna burn me?" Amanda whispered.

"No, sweetheart. It's warm. If you don't like the temperature, you can change it," Olivia told her. Amanda's eyes widened, and she shook her head.

"He got mad when I changed the temperature," Amanda mumbled.

"I won't get mad. You're allowed to change the water setting. No one is gonna hurt you," Olivia said seriously, hoping Amanda would believe that she was safe here. They were both quiet for a few moments before Amanda spoke up.

"H-he was s-so m-mad. He c-carved i-into me for being b-bad," Amanda whispered, the nightmare still fresh in her mind.

"He carved into you?" Olivia asked, not really understanding.

Amanda turned slightly to show the word that was right above her hip. Olivia gasped quietly. Her heart sank at the sight. "Disobedient" had been carved into Amanda's skin with a knife. No wonder the poor thing was so terrified of being bad. She was violently punished if her captor considered her to be bad, which seemed to be often. Not thinking it through, Olivia reached out to touch the terrible carving. When her fingers came in contact with the word, Amanda flinched away.

"Don't. Please. Please," Amanda begged. It was as though she feared Olivia might carve into her like he did.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I won't touch it. It's okay. No one will carve into you ever again. No one is going to hurt you," Olivia soothed her. Amanda nodded.

"Okay, I'm gonna give you some privacy now," Olivia told her. Amanda nodded again, and the older woman exited the bathroom.

While Amanda showered, Olivia changed the sheets and grabbed a set of clothes for Amanda. Amanda took a quick shower. She hated showers. When she got out, she quickly dried off before realizing she had no clothes to change into. Amanda exited the bathroom with the towel wrapped tightly around her body.

"Olivia? I don't have clothes," Amanda whispered, hoping Olivia would keep her word about not taking away her clothes. Olivia saw the fear on Amanda's face and felt terrible for not remembering to give her clothes before her shower.

"I'm so sorry, Amanda. Here you go," Olivia apologized, handing Amanda a set of clothes. She could see the relief appear on Amanda's face, which made her heart sink.

"Thank you, Olivia," Amanda breathed, grateful that she was allowed to have clothes.

"Do you need help getting dressed?" Olivia asked. Amanda didn't want to answer. She didn't want Olivia to see her, but she knew she needed help getting dressed.

"It's okay, Amanda. I'm not gonna hurt you," Olivia assured her. Amanda nodded hesitantly, and Olivia lead her into the bathroom.

"How about you get your undergarments on, and I'll help with the rest? That way, I won't see anything," Olivia suggested, knowing Amanda was uncomfortable with anyone seeing her without clothes. Amanda nodded.

After Amanda's undergarments were on, Olivia helped her put on the pajama bottoms. Then, she helped put on the shirt. Amanda flinched when Olivia touched her, but she didn't back away.

When Amanda's clothes were on, the two exited the bedroom. Olivia helped Amanda get back into bed. Olivia pulled the covers over Amanda.

"Good night, Amanda. Try to get some more sleep," Olivia smiled sadly.

"I don't want to sleep. I don't want more nightmares," Amanda whispered.

"I'm so sorry, Amanda. I know this is hard, but you need to try to sleep. It'll be okay," Olivia tried to assure her.

Olivia was stroking Amanda's hair, hoping it would help her relax so she could fall asleep. Amanda flinched at first, but she soon relaxed at the contact. Olivia's touch was gentle, not violent. After a few moments, Amanda hesitantly sat up and crawled into Olivia's lap like a young child. Olivia rubbed circles into Amanda's back, and eventually, they both fell asleep.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Hi, everyone. I got writer's block towards the end of this chapter, which is why it's a short chapter and why the ending is crappy. The next chapter will be better and longer-I promise! :)**

Amanda was the first one to wake up around ten in the morning. The memories from her latest incident quickly flooded back to her mind. She saw that she was still in Olivia's arms, and she didn't like that. Olivia's arms felt safe earlier, but she was still getting used to nonviolent physical contact. Besides, Olivia was unknowingly applying pressure to Amanda's bruises, causing her pain.

Amanda carefully freed herself from the older woman's arms. She worried that her movements might wake Olivia, but she sighed in relief upon seeing that she hadn't disturbed the woman's slumber. Her stomach growled loudly, and she had no idea how that didn't wake up Olivia. She exited the bedroom and went to the kitchen.

Olivia said the young blonde was allowed to have food whenever she wanted. Amanda thought that she could eat fast enough so that Olivia wouldn't even notice. Maybe Olivia wouldn't punish her if she caught the young blonde eating without permission, but Amanda wasn't going to take chances by eating a lot or slowly. She searched the refrigerator for something small. She found an apple, but she worried Olivia would notice if the only apple was missing. She hoped there would be cereals in the pantry, but there were none. However, she found a loaf of bread. She figured no one would notice if she ate one slice.

She bit into the slice of bread. It wasn't much, but it was food. Looking at the bag, she saw that it had expired the day before. That didn't change anything though. It was still food, and she was still hungry, so she continued eating it. She worried that Olivia would notice if she ate any other food.

"Amanda, what are you doing?" A voice asked, startling Amanda.

 _After being forced to have sex for hours, Amanda was finally done for that night. She was very hungry, and her captor was very drunk. He was so drunk he forgot to chain Amanda back up or lock the door. She slowly climbed up the stairs and quietly exited the basement. She made her way to the kitchen. Looking back, this probably would've been a good opportunity to escape, but at this moment in time, all she wanted was food_.

 _She opened the refrigerator and found some day old pizza. She grabbed a slice and began eating. She was so hungry. She began eating whatever she saw in the fridge and pantry. She was eating fruits, chips, anything she could get her hands on._

 _"What are you doing?!" A voice suddenly boomed. Amanda screamed and jumped up. Her body was violently trembling as her eyes met one of her captor's friends, another regular customer._

 _"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I was hungry. I'm sorry. I won't do it again. I'm sorry," Amanda immediately began apologizing as tears began streaming down her face._

 _"I don't think your boss would be too happy if I told him what you were doing," the man sneered._

 _"Please, don't tell! Please! I'm sorry! I'll never do it again! Please! I'll do anything! Just please, don't tell!" Amanda sobbed. The man only laughed_.

 _He gripped Amanda by her hair and forced her to bend over the counter. She wasn't wearing any clothes, so he didn't have to undress her. He unzipped his pants._

 _"No, no, no. Please, no. Please," Amanda begged through tears._

 _"You shut up. Bad girls get punished. Good girls don't fight back," he growled. Amanda was trembling._

 _"Be a good girl," he warned her. He forced himself inside of her from behind. She cried out in pain and begged him to stop. He roughly yanked her hair._

 _"Shut up!" He boomed. When he finally finished, he came out of her. She backed away from him, still sobbing and begging him not to hurt her. She begged him not to tell her captor that she had gotten out of the basement and stolen food_.

 _He ignored her pleas and brought her back to the basement. He chained her up and exited the horrible room. The next day, her captor entered the basement, sober and angry. He whipped Amanda for fifteen minutes and then, he raped her. She was forced to throw up the food she'd eaten the previous night. Her captor and the man who caught her eating forced her to give them oral for hours._

 _Amanda was chained back up and wasn't given any food for days_.

"Amanda, it's okay. You don't have to cry," Olivia said, trying to figure out what caused Amanda's panic. For the last five minutes, Amanda had been sobbing and trembling.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I won't steal again. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'll be good. Don't hurt me. Please, please, don't hurt me. I'll be really good. Please. Please. Please. Please," Amanda wailed. Olivia took a step towards her and gently touched her shoulder. Amanda jerked away and screamed. She was confusing her flashback with reality.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Please!" She cried, backing into the corner. Olivia realized she was most likely having a flashback.

"Please. Please. Don't hurt me. Please, don't hurt me. I'm sorry," Amanda pleaded.

"Amanda, please look at me, honey. I'm not angry at you. It's me, Olivia. I'm not going to hurt you. You don't need to be sorry. You're in my apartment. It's just you, and me, Olivia, in the kitchen. No one is going to hurt you," Olivia tried to soothe her.

"No. No. No. No," Amanda mumbled to herself. She was rocking herself back and forth.

"Amanda, can you please look at me? It's me, Olivia. You're safe. I promise. You're okay. No one is mad. No one is going to hurt you," Olivia told her. Olivia looked at the loaf of the bread and checked the date. She threw it away upon seeing that it was a day old.

"Amanda, why were you eating expired bread?" Olivia questioned.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for stealing. I-I was hungry, and I haven't eaten in so long, and I-I," Amanda erupted into more sobs, not realizing she was with Olivia, not her captor.

"Sssshhh. Honey, I'm not mad. You didn't steal from me. I told you you could have food whenever you wanted it. I just don't understand why you chose old bread when there's better food here," Olivia explained.

"I thought you wouldn't notice if one slice was missing ," Amanda cried.

"Amanda, you're allowed to eat. Food isn't a rare gift that you get when you behave. Food is a daily necessity that you can have whenever you want," Olivia told her, her heart shattering for the young blonde. She gently touched Amanda's back, but she flinched away.

"Please, don't whip me. Please. It hurts so much," Amanda pleaded, still not understanding that Olivia was talking to her, not her captor.

"Amanda, I'm not gonna whip you. You didn't do anything wrong, and even if you did, I wouldn't whip you," Olivia promised.

"You-you always whip me when I'm a bad girl," Amanda whimpered, so confused by his response. Why was he playing these torturous games with her?

"Amanda, I've never whipped you. It's me, Olivia. Please, look at me," Olivia begged, realizing Amanda was still confused. Amanda slowly looked up, beginning to register Olivia's voice. When her eyes met Olivia's, the young blonde quickly crawled into her arms.

"Olivia, please, don't let him hurt me. Please. He's so mad that I stole food. I'm sorry I stole. I won't do it again. Please, protect me," Amanda pleaded, tears streaming down her face. She buried her face in Olivia's arms, hoping Olivia would keep her safe.

"Amanda, honey, he's not here. You had a flashback, sweetheart. You're safe. No one is mad at you. I won't let anyone hurt you," Olivia promised.

"A flashback?" She asked in a whisper.

"Yes, honey. You're safe," Olivia confirmed. A loud sob escaped from Amanda's mouth.

"Olivia, it hurt so bad," she cried.

"I know, sweetheart. I am so, so sorry," Olivia whispered, holding the young blonde a little tighter.

"Are you mad that I stole food from you?" Amanda whimpered.

"No, Amanda. You didn't steal from me. I told you you always have permission to eat food from me. You're not in any trouble. You had a terrible flashback and got confused about your surroundings. You're safe, sweetheart. I promise you, you're safe," Olivia tried to soothe the young blonde.

"Thank you," Amanda whispered, her voice shaking.

"Sshhh. You're all right. You're all right," Olivia promised. The next fifteen minutes were spent convincing Amanda that she was, in fact, safe and that no one was going to hurt her. Amanda asked for confirmation that whippings and sex were not in her future for stealing food. Olivia assured her that she wasn't facing any beatings and that no one would force her to perform any sexual acts.

Finally, Amanda's cries stopped for the most part. Her trembling form was in Olivia's arms, being rocked gently. When Amanda calmed down, Olivia carried her to the couch. The young blonde was so tensed up.

"I will make you a real meal. Just lay here and relax, okay?" Olivia told the young blonde. Amanda nodded, but clung to Olivia when the older woman tried to leave.

"Amanda, it's okay. I'll just be in the kitchen," Olivia told her.

Olivia cooked a breakfast of potatoes, bacon, biscuits, and a cup of fruit. She poured a glass of orange juice and placed all the items on a tray. She brought the tray to the couch. Amanda was sitting there with her legs hugged to her chest. Amanda's eyes lit up when she saw the food.

"I can eat this?" she asked quietly.

"Yes, of course, this is all yours," Olivia answered.

"Thank you," she smiled.

"You're welcome," Olivia smiled back.

"So then, I'm really not in trouble?" Amanda questioned, wanting to make sure Olivia really wasn't angry.

"Honey, what would you be in trouble for? I already told you that you didn't steal anything. I gave you permission to eat food as you please. You're not going to be punished. I promise," Olivia confirmed, wishing Amanda would trust her.

"Thank you, Olivia. Thank you for not being mad at me," Amanda sighed in relief.

"Stop thanking me, Amanda. There's no reason for me to be mad at you, and even if I was mad at you, I wouldn't react violently. You're safe," Olivia told her. Amanda crawled into Olivia's lap. Amanda looked like the twenty five year old she was, but her mental capacity seemed to be much younger. Perhaps the constant torture Amanda endured resulted in her lack of maturity-a survival mechanism.

"Look at the dog!" Amanda beamed. The two were walking towards the precinct building when Amanda noticed someone walking a dog.

"Dogs are my favorite animal," Amanda smiled. Amanda had been more talkative since breakfast, which delighted Olivia. She loved that Amanda was becoming more comfortable around her.

"I'm not really a big fan of animals," Olivia admitted. She didn't hate animals or anything; she just didn't think she'd be able to care for animals the way most pet owners did.

"How? Animals are so cute!" Amanda said, shocked that anyone could not like animals.

"I have a son. He's a handful. I couldn't handle a pet as well. Besides, I'm more of a people person than an animal person," Olivia explained.

"I like animals better," Amanda smiled quietly. If Olivia were her, she'd like animals better too. Animals probably hadn't betrayed Amanda like people had.

When they entered the building, Amanda went silent. She was always more nervous than usual around other people. She stood closer to Olivia.

"No customers. No customers," Amanda whispered to herself over and over.

"Amanda, relax, sweetie. No one here is a customer. You're safe," Olivia tried to calm her down.

"Lieutenant, I've been waiting for you," a man said as the two entered the squad room.

"Chief Dodds. Sorry to keep you waiting. I had a rough morning," Olivia tried to explain.

"And you are?" The chief asked the young blonde. Amanda was noticeably tensed.

"This is Amanda. We're working on her case. Amanda, this is Chief Dodds," Olivia introduced them. Chief Dodds held out his hand for Amanda to shake, but Amanda flinched at the gesture. Chief Dodds brought his hand down.

"Good morning, Lieutenant," Detective Carisi greeted his boss. Amanda inched closer to the older woman, growing uncomfortable with the two men in the room.

"Hey, Liv," Fin said as he entered the squad room. Amanda let out a whimper and clung to Olivia.

"Amanda, it's okay. I work with them. They're not going to hurt you," Olivia tried to assure the young blonde. Noticing how frightened she was, the three men backed away so she could feel like she wasn't suffocating.

"Amanda, follow me to the interview room," Olivia softly commanded.

"You've been trying to get her statement for two days now?" Chief Dodds asked.

"Uh, yes, but she's starting to open up" Olivia answered.

"How about if I take the interview this time?" Chief Dodds suggested.

"Amanda won't feel comfortable with that. Men terrify her, and she doesn't even know you," Olivia said defensively.

"Is she familiar with any of your other detectives?" Dodds questioned.

"Uh, she's seen Carisi a few times, but I spent a lot of time this morning convincing her to come in. She won't speak if a man takes her statement," Olivia argued.

"Carisi, take this interview," Chief Dodds ordered.

"Chief Dodds, she's scared to death of people. She's barely starting to trust me," Olivia declared.

"Well, your tactics aren't working. You can be in the room with her, but I want Carisi there as well," Chief Dodds decided.


	12. Chapter 12

"Hello, Miss Rollins. I'm here to help Lieutenant Benson take your statement," Detective Carisi explained. Amanda gave Olivia an uneasy look. Her body was noticeably tensed, and her eyes were filled with fear. In Amanda's mind, all men were the same. They were all abusers. They all had the same selfish desires. They were all going to hurt her.

"It's okay, Amanda. He's on our side," Olivia tried to assure the young blonde, noticing that she was clearly uncomfortable with the male's presence. Olivia was frustrated that Chief Dodds insisted on having Carisi present for the interview. Carisi was a great detective, and he'd never want to hurt someone, but as a victim who'd been held hostage as a punching bag and sex slave, Amanda wasn't going to trust that he was a good man. The words "good" and "man" didn't go together like that in Amanda's mind unless "not a" was in front of those words. Amanda was barely learning to trust Olivia, and Olivia was a woman.

"So, Miss Rollins, what can you tell me about the basement you were kept it?" Carisi asked, diving right in. Amanda didn't answer. She didn't think it was safe to give him any details. He probably only wanted to give her back to her captor. She wasn't the criminal in this case, but she still believed that anything she said would be used against her.

"You told Lieutenant Benson that there were no windows, so I know you didn't see much, but did you hear anything? Boats, trains?" Carisi wondered. Amanda shook her head, and the detectives were glad she finally responded to something.

"Did any of your customers look familiar? Did you know any of them? Did you know your captor?" Carisi questioned. Amanda nodded.

"You knew your captor? What's his name?" Olivia asked.

"Miss Rollins, will you tell us his name?" Carisi pressed.

"N-no, I-I c-can't t-tell. I-I h-have to be a g-good girl. I won't tell on him. I-I d-don't want another p-punishment," Amanda stammered out, scared she was going to frustrate the detectives by refusing to answer them.

"Amanda, it's okay. You're not going to get punished. Telling us his name won't make you a bad girl. You're safe. He can't hurt you anymore," Olivia promised. Amanda shook her head, refusing to trust Olivia's words. She was convinced _he_ would get her again.

"Miss Rollins," Carisi began, which sent Amanda into a panic.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I can't tell you. I'm sorry. Please, don't be mad," Amanda pleaded, covering her face with her hands.

"Amanda, no one's mad at you," Olivia tried to calm her.

"It's all right, Miss Rollins," Carisi said softly, placing his hand on Amanda's shoulder. Amanda flinched sharply and let out a yelp.

"I-I'm sorry, D-D-Detective. I-I'll answer you. I'll answer you. J-just please, don't make me have sex. Please," Amanda cried, looking at Detective Carisi.

"Hey, Amanda, Detective Carisi isn't going to hurt you. It's okay," Olivia promised.

"He always makes me have sex when I'm bad," Amanda whispered.

"Amanda, you don't have to do that ever again. I know your captor hurt you bad, and I'm so sorry. But I can promise you, Carisi won't hurt you or make you perform any sexual acts," Olivia told her.

"But he's a man," Amanda whispered. Olivia's heart sank. The poor girl had been abused by so many men, she assumed abuser and man had the same definition. She shouldn't feel the need to fear all men, or any person for that matter. It broke Olivia's heart that Amanda's life was consisting of trying to avoid beatings and trying to avoid being forced into sex. She was always trying to be good so she could maybe eat and drink.

"Amanda, he's a good man, I promise. Not every man is an abuser, and I know that's hard to believe in your position, but please, trust me on this. Detective Carisi is a good man," Olivia tried to convince her. Detective Carisi understood that Amanda's fear was nothing personal, but his heart still hurt seeing the young blonde so frightened of him. He never wanted anyone to feel unsafe around him. He'd never want to harm someone, and he wished Amanda understood that.

"I'd never hurt you, Miss Rollins," Carisi chimed in. Chief Dodds knocked on the window, indicating that it was time for Carisi to leave. Carisi sadly made his way out, only relieved that Amanda would feel safer once he left. Olivia was glad Carisi was called out because she knew the presence of man frightened Amanda so much. When he exited the room, Amanda visibly relaxed.

"I thought he was gonna hurt me," she whispered.

"He wouldn't do that. I promise you that he wouldn't do that. But now that he's gone, do you think you and I could talk a little bit about what happened in that basement?" Olivia wondered.

"Olivia, please, don't make me. I really can't talk about it. It's dangerous," Amanda whimpered.

"Honey, it's not dangerous," Olivia told her.

"Olivia, please, you don't understand. He will find out if I tell. He has people watching me," Amanda began to sob.

"Who, Amanda? Who's watching you?" Olivia questioned, very concerned.

"I don't know. He just said if I ever escaped, people would be watching me to take me away again. Please, Olivia. Don't make me talk. I don't want to go back," Amanda wailed. Olivia sighed.

"Sweetheart, I think he made that up. If there were people watching you, don't you think they would've already taken you? People like the man who took you like to make their victims feel as though they're in control over you and that they will always have you. But Amanda, he doesn't have you anymore, and he's never going to get you again. You're safe now," Olivia tried to convince the young blonde.

"I can't tell you anything," she whimpered. Suddenly, she looked up in a panic.

"I-is th-that m-man g-gonna be m-mad that I w-won't answer qu-questions?" Amanda asked, clearly terrified.

"Who? Carisi?" Olivia figured. Amanda shook her head.

"The other one," she whispered.

"Chief Dodds? No, sweetie, he won't be mad. The chief wants to help you just like I do. He's not gonna be mad," Olivia told her.

"Men are always mad when I don't do what they want," Amanda whimpered. Olivia pulled her into a hug, glad when Amanda didn't flinch away from her.

"That won't happen anymore," Olivia whispered to her.

"I don't want to answer any more questions. I want to be done. Please, can I stop?" Amanda sobbed.

Olivia knew that Amanda needed to give a full statement. They needed to find out who the man who harmed her was. Olivia wanted to put the man in prison. The M.E was backed up, so it was taking longer than usual to get the rape kit tested. Olivia was hoping that the kit would be able to show who her captor and her customers were. Because Amanda had been forced to shower so much in that basement, most DNA was probably gone, but the hope was that the most recent assaults hadn't been showered off yet.

Olivia could've kept Amanda in that interview room a little longer. She could've continued to press for details until Amanda realized that it was her right not to pursue. However, as she held the crying and terrified blonde in her arms, Olivia just couldn't bring herself to ask more questions right now. She wanted to get this guy and any other customers without a doubt, but she didn't want to scare, sadden, or further traumatize Amanda.

"It's okay, Amanda. We can stop for now. We'll come back to it later. How about you and I go get lunch now, and we can take Noah to the park later?" Olivia suggested.

"I'm still allowed to eat?" Amanda asked, shocked that Olivia would give her food even when she refused to answer questions.

"Of course, honey. You're always allowed to eat," Olivia told her.

"Thank you," Amanda whimpered, hugging Olivia tight. Olivia was glad to see Amanda trust her enough hug her.

"Okay, let's go," Olivia stated.

The two stood up and exited the interview room. As they passed Carisi and Chief Dodds, Amanda clung to Olivia. Olivia rubbed her arm and told her she was safe. Amanda didn't relax until she was sitting in the car.

"I don't want to talk about it anymore," Amanda mumbled.

"I'm sorry, sweetie. I know this is hard. We don't have to talk about it right now, okay? We'll go back to my apartment, and I'll make some lunch, and we can relax," Olivia tried to soothe the young blonde.

When they arrived at the apartment, Olivia paid Lucy and gave her the rest of the day off. Noah loved Lucy, but he was very happy to see his mother home early. He was also excited to see Amanda. He'd grown used to seeing Amanda often, and he seemed to think she was there to be his friend.

"Noah, Amanda and I were thinking that after lunch, maybe we could go to the park. How does that sound?" Olivia asked, knowing full well what her son's response would be.

"Yes! Park!" Noah cheered. Olivia smiled at her son. She loved how happy he always was.

"Mandy, you can push me on the swing, and we can go on the slide and do the monkey bars!" Noah rambled, thinking Amanda would just love to spend her afternoon on the playground. Amanda smiled, but gave no verbal response. She had no intentions of pushing the toddler on the swing, going on the slide, or doing the monkey bars. Amanda had no idea why Noah seemed to think they were playmates.

Amanda hadn't had real fun in a very long time. She didn't see how she was supposed to have fun. She felt she was in constant danger. What could be fun about her life? She didn't know how to be happy. She was almost afraid to be happy because she was worried that she would start to trust others and be carefree, and she didn't want that. She believed she needed to always be on high alert.

For lunch, Olivia made sandwiches with a small salad. Noah made a mess out of his food, but he seemed to enjoy it. Amanda was very happy to be given another meal, and she thanked Olivia multiple times. She didn't understand why Olivia was so kind to her, but she was very grateful for it. Amanda was the first of the three to finish her meal. Olivia took note of how quickly Amanda ate, but she didn't comment on it. She knew victims of abuse sometimes over ate or ate very fast because they were starved before.

"Park now?" Noah asked once they'd all finished eating.

"First, we need to get you cleaned up, and I need to change clothes," Olivia informed her son.

Olivia cleaned the peanut butter, jelly, and bread crumbs off of Noah's face. He managed to get his lunch on his clothes as well, and Olivia was about to ask if he'd even eaten any of his lunch. She changed him into a checkered shirt and put some overalls on him. She put his converse on before going to her bedroom to change into some more casual clothes. Amanda also changed clothes before the three headed out.

The entire car ride to the park, Noah talked about how he and "Mandy" were going to play together. Olivia thought her son's comments were sweet, but Amanda didn't understand why that kid was so set on playing with her. Olivia made sure to tell her son that Amanda might want to sit down and rest, but those words seemed to be meaningless to Noah. Olivia told Amanda she didn't really have to play with Noah. It wasn't that Amanda didn't like the kid; she did. She thought Noah was a sweet child. She didn't know how to have fun though, and she wasn't willing to let her guard down long enough to find out.

When they arrived at the park, Noah ran for the playground. Olivia smiled as her son climbed onto the swing. He didn't know how to swing himself, and even if he had, he probably still would've requested that someone else push him.

"Mandy, Mandy! Come push me!" Noah smiled.

Amanda didn't pay much attention to what Noah. Instead, she was glancing all around the park, trying to look for anyone who could be a predator, which, in Amanda's mind, was everyone. Olivia noticed how nervous Amanda looked.

"Amanda, you're safe. I'm watching out for all of us. I'm not gonna let anything happen to you," Olivia tried to assure the young blonde. Amanda looked down, not trusting the older woman's words. Amanda wasn't sure she'd ever feel safe again.

"Hey, there's an ice cream truck nearby. Do you want some?" Olivia asked. Amanda's eyes lit up.

"I'll take that as a yes," Olivia giggled. She took her son from the swing set, and the three went to get some ice cream.

Amanda seemed to relax a bit once she got her chocolate ice cream. Olivia wasn't sure why ice cream seemed to provide so much happiness for Amanda, but she decided not to question it. She was just glad to see Amanda smile. Noah's ice cream got all over his face, and Olivia figured she really should've seen that one coming. After the ice cream had been eaten and Noah's face had been cleaned, the toddler ran back to the swing set.

"Mandy, come push me!" Noah requested again. Amanda tried to ignore the young boy. She wanted to stay seated on the bench, next to Olivia, where she could watch for predators.

"Please, Mandy! It'll make me happy!" Noah called. Amanda's heart sank. She knew how it felt to feel absolutely miserable, and she wouldn't wish that on anybody. She understood that Noah wasn't going to be miserable if Amanda refused to push him on the swing, but she still didn't like the idea of a child being the least bit upset.

"Do you promise I'm safe?" Amanda asked.

"Yes, honey, I promise. If you want, I'll go with you. While you push Noah, I'll watch out for you," Olivia offered. Amanda nodded, and the two went over to the swing.

"Yay!" Noah cheered upon realizing Amanda was going to push him.

Amanda pushed the young boy on the swing and even managed to smile as he shouted for her to push him higher. His giggles were contagious, and Amanda was glad she agreed to push him. Eventually, Noah started to sing, and Amanda loved hearing him sing. She remembered when she used to sing. Now, she barely even spoke.

After a while, Noah got bored on the swing. Amanda stopped the swing for him, and he jumped off. He grabbed Amanda's hand and lead her to the slides.

"Slide with me, Mandy!" Noah smiled. Amanda laughed and slid down with the toddler.

The next half hour or so consisted of Noah sliding, swinging, and doing the monkey bars with Amanda. He had a blast, and even Amanda was able to enjoy herself just a little bit. She didn't let her guard down, but she also knew Olivia was most likely watching out for her.

"Push me again, Mandy!" Noah cheered, getting back on the swing. Amanda pushed the toddler, and she enjoyed hearing his laughter.

A few moments later, a man approached the swing set with his daughter, who was probably about five. Amanda tensed up immediately and stopped pushing the toddler. She backed away from the swing set.

"Amanda, it's all right," Olivia quickly tried to soothe the young blonde. Olivia took her son off of the swing and lead Amanda to the benches.

"Hey, you're okay, Amanda. No one's gonna hurt you. You're safe," Olivia told her. Amanda shook her head, refusing to believe she was safe.

"It's all right, honey. You're safe," Olivia whispered.

"Olivia, it's not safe. Can we leave, please?" Amanda asked.

"Sure, sweetie. We can leave," Olivia agreed.

"But Mommy, I still playing," Noah stated.

"Noah, it's time to go home. We can come back another time," Olivia told him.

"Why is Mandy sad?" Noah wondered.

"Amanda just doesn't feel good right now," Olivia answered.

"Is she hurt?" Noah asked.

"Yeah, she's hurt, but she'll feel better," Olivia responded, not wanting to worry the toddler. Noah crawled into Amanda's lap.

"I can kiss it and make it all better. Where does it hurt, Mandy?" Noah asked. He was too young to understand the difference between emotional and physical pain.

"Noah, Amanda kind of hurts everywhere," Olivia hesitantly said.

"That okay! I have lots of kisses!" Noah smiled.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/n: hi, everyone. I hope you like this chapter. Feel free to leave suggestions if you have any. Thank you so much for all your support! :) xx**

 _She knew she was in trouble. She hit one of her customers last night, and she'd have to pay for it today. She could hear him upstairs with some of his friends. They were talking and laughing and probably drinking. It was only a matter of time before they all came downstairs and took turns with her. They would hold her_ _down, and three men would rape her at once. Then, he would open his bag of toys. He would inflict pain or turn her body against herself. They would all watch and laugh at her discomfort and pain while she pleaded_ _for mercy, promising_ _to be good._

 _This had happen to her before. Men would come downstairs, and three would take their turn at a time until they'd all taken a turn raping her. Then, he would reveal the toys. The torture lasted for hours._

 _She wasn't sure how much time had passed before she heard the door to the basement open. She whimpered at the sound, terrified of what was to come. The lights turned, and she could hear the men laughing and talking, excited for their turn with the slave._

 _She scrambled into the corner, as though curling up in the corner would save her from the horror she was about to endure. She would begin pleading for them not to hurt her, even though she knew her pleas would be ignored. To them, she wasn't a person; she was property. They would do whatever they wanted to her, and she knew nothing she did could stop them._

 _As the men came down, she realized there had to be at least eight or nine of them. Loud wails erupted from her body as they drew closer. He began to unchain her so they could hold her down and enjoy her struggle. As the chains were being undone, she wished she could run. She wanted to run and never stop. She wanted to escape._

 _Run_.

 _Escape_.

 _Run_.

 _Run. Now!_

Her eyes shot open as she jumped up off of the couch. She was so stuck in her past she didn't take in her surroundings. She began running, not even noticing as she ran into the three year old, who fell down and started crying. She was desperate to get away. She didn't want to be raped again. She wanted to the torture to end. She wanted to be safe. Why was that so much to ask for?

Olivia realized the young blonde was unaware of her surroundings. While she wanted to comfort her crying son, she needed to help Amanda first. She ran after the young blonde, catching her just as she reached the front door.

"Amanda, it's okay. You're safe," Olivia said, grabbing the young blonde's arms to prevent her from leaving the apartment. Amanda let out a shriek when Olivia came in contact with her.

"D-d-don't h-hurt m-me! P-please! N-no m-more! P-please, d-don't m-make m-me! Please! Please! I-I'll be good!" Amanda screamed.

"Amanda, honey, calm down. You're safe. You're safe. No one's gonna hurt you," Olivia tried to convince her.

"P-please, l-let m-me g-go! I-I n-need to g-get o-out! P-please! I-I won't t-tell anyone! Please, j-just l-let me g-go!" Amanda pleaded, struggling against the arms of who she thought was her captor.

"Amanda, please. It's me, Olivia. No one is going to hurt you. You're safe," Olivia tried to calm her, guiding Amanda to the couch. They sat down, and Amanda tried to stand up, but Olivia held her in place so she wouldn't run away again.

"N-no m-more s-sex. P-please, d-don't r-rape me a-anym-more," Amanda wailed. Her body was trembling with fear, and she was heaving. She pulled her knees to her chest and began rocking herself back and forth.

"N-no m-more. P-please. Please. N-no m-more," Amanda repeated to herself over and over. Olivia wondered what awful pain the young blonde had been through. She had never seen a victim so traumatized. She felt hatred towards the men who harmed Amanda.

"Amanda," Olivia whispered, placing a hand on her shoulder. Amanda flinched and let out a cry.

"Please! What do I have to do to make you stop?!" Amanda screamed through sobs.

"Amanda, look at me. It's me, Olivia. You're safe, honey. No one is hurting you. You're safe. Please, look at me. It's me, Olivia," Olivia softly pleaded.

"P-please, l-let m-me g-go," Amanda whispered.

"Amanda, you need to look at me. It's me, Olivia. You're safe, honey. You're not trapped. You're not a prisoner. You're safe, sweetie," Olivia promised. Amanda's cries quieted a bit, and Olivia thought she was calming down. However, when she placed a hand on Amanda's shoulder, Amanda slapped her hand away and pushed her.

That was out of character. Amanda was terrified of violence, and Olivia knew the young blonde would never want to cause anyone physical harm. Granted pushing someone away isn't painful, but it still wasn't something Amanda would do. The poor thing was so stuck in her past, and she was desperately trying to protect herself.

"Amanda, honey, it's okay," Olivia whispered.

"I-I'm s-sorry! I-I d-didn't m-mean to-to p-push you! I'm s-sorry! P-please, d-don't hurt me. Please. I-I'll be a g-good girl," Amanda sobbed.

"Amanda, I'm not going to hurt you. Please, sweetheart, look at me. It's me, Olivia. You're safe, honey. Please, look at me," Olivia begged.

"Remember today at the park? You, my son, Noah, and me, Olivia all went to the park. We had ice cream, which you love. You push Noah on the swing set and slid down the slide with him," Olivia reminded her, hoping the memories would register.

"Park?" Amanda whispered, confused as to why her captor was talking about something she did with Olivia and her son.

"Yes, sweetheart. The three of us went to the park, and we all had fun," Olivia smiled sadly. Olivia continued to tell Amanda that she was safe and it was just her, Olivia. After a few minutes, Amanda began to register Olivia's voice. She slowly came out of her flashback. The trembling didn't stop, but the cries quieted down.

"Olivia?" Amanda asked, her voice a whisper.

"Yes, sweetheart, it's me," Olivia confirmed, relieved the young woman was finally becoming aware of her surroundings. Amanda crawled into her arms.

"D-don't l-let th-them h-hurt me, O-Olivia. P-please. I-I'll be a g-good girl," Amanda cried.

"Sssshh, honey. I won't let anyone hurt you. You're safe with me, sweet girl. Don't worry about being a good girl. You're a very good girl, and you don't have to be scared of what'll happen if you're not. Nothing bad is going to happen to you under this roof. You're safe with me," Olivia promised, hugging the young girl tighter and gently rocking her.

"I-I thought-I thought h-he a-and h-his fr-friends... I th-thought th-they w-were g-going t-to," Amanda began, but was cut off by her own sobs.

"Ssshhh. It's all right. You're safe now, honey. They aren't going to hurt you anymore. You won't be forced to do things you don't want to do. You're safe," Olivia soothed her. Amanda's tensed body finally began to relax in Olivia's arms.

"Why is he crying?" Amanda wondered, noticing the toddler on the ground.

Remembering that her son was in distress, Olivia got up to comfort her son. However, as soon she started to get up, Amanda clung to her. She didn't want Olivia to leave her alone. Someone might get her if Olivia leaves.

"Noah, come here," Olivia said, deciding not to let go of Amanda, who was still shaken up by the intense flashback.

"Mandy hit me," the child sniffled, pointing at the young blonde. Amanda's body tensed up again.

"I-I hit him? I-I'm s-so sorry, O-Olivia. I-I didn't m-mean to. I'm so sorry," Amanda apologized in a panic. She scrambled out of Olivia's lap, terrified Olivia was going to be angry at her.

"I'm sorry, N-Noah. I-I didn't mean to. I'm s-sorry," she apologized to the toddler. Amanda backed away, giving many apologies at Olivia.

"Honey, it's okay," Olivia said, standing up from the couch. Amanda flinched.

"P-please, d-don't be mad. I didn't mean to. I'm sorry," Amanda cried.

"Amanda, I'm not mad. It wasn't your fault. You had a flashback, and you didn't hit him. You just ran into him, and he fell. He's fine. Kids like to exaggerate their pain sometimes. It was just an accident," Olivia tried to assure her.

"You promise?" Amanda whimpered.

"Yes, sweetheart. I promise. Come here," she whispered. Amanda slowly walked back to the couch and sat next to Olivia, who now had Noah in her arms.

"Noah, Amanda didn't mean to run into you. She had a bad dream, and I think she slept walked," Olivia explained to her son.

"I'm so sorry," Amanda whispered.

"It okay," Noah chirped. He crawled into Amanda's lap and hugged her. Then, he hopped off the couch and went to play, no longer caring about the situation.

"Are you hungry for dinner?" Olivia asked. Amanda nodded, her eyes lighting up.

"Okay. How about you go take a shower, and I'll make dinner while you do?" Olivia suggested.

"I-I have to shower?" Amanda asked, frightened.

"Honey, you're sweating from that nightmare. I promise you'll be safe in the shower," Olivia said.

"I hate showers. Why do you always make me?" Amanda whimpered.

"Honey, it's not dangerous. You haven't been hurt in the shower since being here. You know I wouldn't put you in a position to get hurt," Olivia reminded her. That was true. Since staying with Olivia, nothing bad happened to Amanda in the shower. Olivia was always promising Amanda she wouldn't be harmed. Since staying with Olivia, nobody had hit Amanda.

"Okay," Amanda whispered.

"Are you ready for bed?" Olivia asked an hour after dinner. Amanda nodded. She was exhausted, and her eyes were barely staying open.

"Okay. Come on," Olivia smiled softly, taking Amanda's hand and leading her to the bedroom. Amanda climbed into the bed, and Olivia tucked her in. Amanda was asleep by the time Olivia finished tucking her in.

"Good night, sweet girl," Olivia whispered to the sleeping blonde. Forgetting that Amanda preferred the lights dimmed, Olivia turned them off on her way out. Seeing as Amanda was so exhausted, Olivia hoped she would sleep through the night, those that hope was a bit unrealistic.

Olivia found her son asleep on the living room floor. He was surrounded by the toys he'd been playing with. A day at the park and crying when Amanda ran into him really tired the kid out. Olivia smiled at her son. She loved him so much. She gently picked the child up, careful not to wake him. She brought him to his bedroom where she placed him in his bed and draped a blanket over him.

"Good night, Noah. I love you so much," Olivia whispered to her son, a small smile on her face. She exited his bedroom, switching the lights off on her way out.

It was only about nine, but Olivia was exhausted. She made her way back to the living room, ready for bed. She laid down on the couch, and it didn't take long for her eyes to close.

 _She was in the living room, which was highly unusual. She was only brought up here a few times for parties. The men liked to grope her and rape her. They took delight in hitting her as though she were a punching bag. They were all getting drunk, and Amanda was getting more and more scared. The drunker they were, the longer her night would be._

 _After a couple of hours, the men could hardly walk because of how drunk they were. A couple of them had even passed out. Amanda tried to make her way back the basement, wanting to avoid any more abuse. As she approached the basement door, she noticed the front door. She glanced back at the drunken men. They couldn't focus on what she was doing. This was her chance._

 _Possibly her last chance._

 _She made her way to the front door and slowly opened it. She exited the house and felt the chilly New York air. She closed the door and slowly started walking. Her body was in so much pain, and she could barely move. However, the fear of him finding her kept her going. She wasn't sure how long she'd been walking when she reached a park. She wasn't sure where she was going, but she wanted to get away from that house of horrors._

 _She was freezing, and the only clothes she was wearing were her bra and underwear. It was late at night or very early in the morning. She was hungry, tired, in pain, and terrified. Every step hurt. She'd seen a few cars and people, but was far to too afraid to flag anyone down. She didn't trust anyone._

 _"Miss?" Someone asked, noticing the young woman. Amanda flinched at the voice and started walking faster._

" _Miss!" The person called out again. Two people were calling after her, trying to see if she was all right. One of them grabbed her wrist, and she let out a shriek of fear, thinking this person was going to cause her more pain._

Amanda's eyes shot open, and panic began to set in. The room was dark. She felt trapped. She thought she escaped, but they must've found her again. She began to cry, convinced she was back in that basement.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/n: hi, everyone! I'm sorry this chapter is so short, but I hope you still like it! The part about Lewis came from a suggestion from lindsay1993 -thank you for the suggestion :) also, someone asked about Amanda's age-Amanda is 25 in the fanfic, but she lacks in maturity due to the trauma of what she went through-hence the reason she crawls into Olivia's arms like a child. Thank you so much for reading and taking an interest in this fanfic! :)**

She tossed and turned on the concrete ground, desperately wanting to escape the horrid basement. She had been captured again, and she would have to face the consequences of running away. Her body was trembling, and with her knees hugged to her chest, she rocked herself back and forth. Her eyes were squeezed shut, and loud cries came from her mouth. She was terrified that her captor would enter the basement with a few customers. He was probably going to beat her for attempting to get away, but the beating would be nothing compared to what the customers would do to her.

Olivia's eyes shot open upon a loud wail ringing through her ears. She jumped off of the couch and darted to the bedroom, wanting to comfort Amanda and assure her she was safe. She wished Amanda wouldn't have to endure such night terrors. From personal experience, Olivia knew how awful night terrors were.

When she opened the bedroom door, Amanda let out a scream. She scrambled against the headboard of the bed. Her body was trembling, and her breathing was very unsteady.

"P-p-please, d-don't. P-please, d-don't. I-I'm s-s-sorry," Amanda wailed. Olivia cautiously approached the young blonde. Amanda yelped as Olivia drew closer and cried out another plea for the person in front of her not to harm her.

"Amanda, it's all right. I'm not going to hurt you," Olivia said, her hands raised so that Amanda could see them and know Olivia was not a predator.

"I-I'm s-sorry f-f-for r-running a-aw-way. I-I w-won't do it a-ag-gain. P-please, d-don't h-hurt m-me. Please," Amanda sobbed.

"Amanda, it's okay. You didn't do anything wrong. You're safe, sweetie. You're safe," Olivia spoke softly.

"P-please, d-don't! Please, don't!" Amanda shrieked once Olivia was right next to her.

"Amanda, it's me, Olivia. I'm not going to hurt you, sweetheart. Please, look at me. See? It's me, Olivia. We're in my bedroom, and no one is going to hurt you," Olivia promised.

"I-I'll be a g-good g-girl," Amanda whimpered, hugging herself tighter.

"Amanda, please, look at me. It's me, Olivia," Olivia pleaded.

"I-I d-didn't m-mean t-to. It-it won't happen again," Amanda cried, scooting away from the older woman.

"Amanda, you're safe, honey. You're not in the basement. You're in my apartment. I'm not going to hurt you. It's me, Olivia," she tried to convince the younger woman. Amanda started kicking and thrashing around.

"P-please, st-stay aw-way! P-please, d-don't p-punish me!" Amanda begged. Olivia backed away, wanting to comply with Amanda's requests in order to prove she was not a predator. She kept her hands raised so Amanda could see the older woman wasn't harmful.

"Okay. It's okay. I'm not going to punish you. No one is," Olivia softly spoke.

"I-I'm s-sorry I was b-bad," she sobbed.

"You weren't bad, Amanda. No one is going to hurt you," Olivia promised. Amanda was hugging herself even tighter, trying desperately to push herself further against the headboard, as though it were possible.

Suddenly, Olivia realized the bedroom was dark. She figured that was probably why Amanda thought she was back in the basement. She quickly turned the lamp on. Amanda let out a whimper, and Olivia could see the younger woman's knuckles were white from hugging herself so tight.

"See, honey? You're not in the basement. You're in my apartment. It's me, Olivia. Please, open your eyes," Olivia pleaded. Amanda hesitantly opened her eyes and looked around, beginning to register the fact that she wasn't being held captive anymore.

"Olivia!" Amanda exclaimed when her eyes landed on the older woman.

"Yes, honey, it's me, Olivia. You're safe," Olivia confirmed. She slowly sat on the bed, and Amanda crawled into her lap.

"D-don't l-let th-them t-take me aw-way. P-please. I-I'll be a r-really g-good g-girl for you. Just, p-please, d-don't s-send me b-back. I'll be so good," Amanda wailed, hugging Olivia tight, not wanting to be sent back to her captor. Olivia's heart broke, and tears began to spill from her eyes.

"Oh, honey, you're never going back there. You're safe with me. You don't have to promise to be a good girl for me. You're always a very good girl, and even if you did do something bad, I would never hurt you or allow someone else to hurt you. I'm not sending you back. You're safe with me," Olivia promised.

"Thank you. Thank you, Olivia. Thank you," Amanda whispered, relieved that Olivia wasn't going to send her back.

"You don't have to thank me for that," Olivia told her.

"I _will_ be a very good girl. I promise. I'll do my best not to make you mad," Amanda promised.

"Honey, stop that. You're always a good girl, and you won't be in trouble if you're not. Don't worry about making me mad. I won't be mad at you. And me being mad at all won't result in your pain," Olivia stated seriously.

"Thank you. I like being with you. You don't punish me," Amanda whimpered. Olivia stroked her hair.

"I'll never punish you, and you never have to thank me for that," Olivia whispered in her ear.

Olivia gently rocked Amanda in her lap for a little while longer. Amanda started to doze off, and when she fell asleep, Olivia laid her down on the bed. Amanda stirred a little bit, but Olivia softly shushed her and stroked her hair, and she calmed down. Olivia pulled the covers over Amanda and headed back to the living room, leaving the lamp on so Amanda could see the entire room if she woke up before sunrise.

Olivia laid down on the couch. She was exhausted, but her thoughts wouldn't let her sleep. She hated seeing Amanda so afraid. Her heart broke every time Amanda promised to be good and begged Olivia not to punish her. Olivia would never do anything to hurt Amanda, and she wished Amanda understood that.

Olivia wanted Amanda to feel safe. She was careful not to raise her voice when Amanda was within earshot. She gave Amanda three meals a day. She let Amanda sleep in her bed. She constantly promised Amanda she wouldn't hit her or put her in an unsafe position. Olivia understood that Amanda had been severely abused, but she didn't understand why Amanda couldn't tell that Olivia wasn't a predator. Olivia was willing to do almost anything to assure Amanda she was safe with her.

Finally, exhaustion won over her thoughts, and the lieutenant fell asleep. The last thought Olivia had before falling asleep was remembering how much Amanda loved dogs. Around dogs was about the only time the young blonde smiled. Olivia wasn't much of an animal person, but she wanted Amanda to feel happy and safe.

When her eyes opened again, it was about eight in the morning. She was tired, but she got up anyway. She made herself a pot of coffee. She was on her second cup when Amanda entered the kitchen.

"Good morning, Amanda," Olivia greeted.

"Morning," she mumbled, her eyes glued to the ground.

"How did you sleep?" Olivia wondered, though she knew the younger woman probably didn't sleep very well.

"Are you sure you're not mad at me?" Amanda asked, ignoring Olivia's question. She knew the older woman always promised not to be mad or hurt her, but she was still worried the older woman might snap.

"Amanda, I'm not mad at you," Olivia softly answered. She stepped closer to the Amanda, but the young blonde backed away.

"I won't hurt you," Olivia whispered.

"Liar," Amanda mumbled.

"I'm not lying to you," she responded, heartbroken for the young blonde.

"Everyone hurts me. I know you will too," Amanda whimpered.

"Amanda, that's not true. I will never hurt you. Have I ever so much as yelled at you? I've never yelled at you or hit you, and I never will. I wish you'd understand," Olivia said softly.

"Ugh! I'm so confused!" Amanda screamed, bursting into tears.

"It's okay, Amanda. What are you confused about?" Olivia asked, trying to keep everything calm.

"Everyone hurts me, but you don't. And I can't figure out when you're going to. I wish you'd just get it over with already. I know you're going to. Just do it already. You're making me so confused. Everyone hurts me, but you keep being nice. I can't tell what's going to make you mad. I'm so tired. I'm so, so tired. I just want to be safe. I'll never be safe. I'll never be safe. Never, never, never," Amanda rambled, beginning to hyperventilate.

"Amanda, honey, you need to calm down. Breathe, sweetheart. In. And out. In. And out. You're safe. You really _are_ safe. I'm never going to hurt you. I'm not going to get mad at you, I promise. Please, breathe. You don't have to be scared of me. You don't have to walk on eggshells for me. You're safe with me. You will always be safe with me," Olivia promised. Amanda shook her head.

"Yes, honey. I'm telling you the truth. Breathe. In. And out. In. And out," Olivia continued.

"Liar. You're lying," Amanda accused, her eyes squeezing shut.

"Amanda, I'm not lying. I can prove it to you, but I need you to breathe first," Olivia told her. A strangled sob escaped from Amanda.

"In. And out. In. And out. In. And out. There, you go. You're doing great. In. And out," Olivia said. Amanda's breathing gradually returned to a steady pace.

"Good job, honey," Olivia smiled. Amanda whimpered. Olivia lead the young blonde to the couch, her heart breaking when Amanda flinched at her touch. Last night, Amanda was clinging to Olivia, and now, she was convinced Olivia would hurt her. They sat on the couch, and Amanda was refusing to make eye contact.

"Remember, I said I could prove to you I wouldn't hurt you?" Olivia reminded her.

"I thought you said that so I would breathe right," Amanda mumbled.

"I really can prove it," Olivia told her.

"How?"

"Because I've been hurt too," the older woman answered. Amanda finally made brief eye contact, surprised that someone like Olivia could ever get hurt.

"I have something to show you," Olivia told her. Amanda gave her full attention to the older woman. Olivia pulled her shirt down a little bit to reveal a few scars. Amanda's eyes widened in shock.

"See, a couple of years ago, I got home from work, and a man was in my apartment. He held a gun to my head," Olivia began.

"He was here?" Amanda asked in alarm.

"No, sweetheart. I moved here after," Olivia answered. Amanda nodded, and Olivia continued.

"This man abducted me. He-he b-beat me. He m-made me drink a-a lot of alcohol so I couldn't fight back. He _tried_ to r-rape me. I saw so many things I _never_ wanted to see," Olivia started. She went into some detail about what happened when she was in captivity. Usually, Olivia wouldn't tell anyone about this, but she thought if Amanda knew what she'd been through, she'd understand that Olivia really was on her side.

"He kept me for about f-four d-days before help arrived. After that, I wasn't too trusting of anyone. I didn't let anyone too close. I was scared. I was angry. I knew I'd have to testify, and that didn't help anything," Olivia continued. Amanda listened intently. Tears welled up in her eyes. She couldn't believe someone like Olivia could end up in such a terrible position. Amanda would never wish such horror on anybody, and she hated that Olivia somewhat understood what she'd been through due to personal experience.

"The nightmares are rare, and the flashback are completely gone. I survived, just like you did. I've been able to thrive, and you will too," Olivia finished.

"No one should hurt you. You don't deserve that. You're good. That shouldn't have happened. You didn't deserve that," Amanda stated tearfully.

"And you _did_? What happened wasn't my fault, just like it wasn't yours," Olivia tried to convince her.

"How did you testify? Weren't you scared?" Amanda asked.

"Yes. I was, but I had to do it. I wanted to make sure he couldn't hurt anyone else. He can't now," Olivia answered.

"He's in prison?"

"Well, he was. He later died," Olivia said, deciding not to state that he died _after_ escaping prison. Amanda didn't need to hear the idea of bad people breaking out of prison. Amanda nodded.

"You're so strong," Amanda whispered.

"You are too," Olivia responded, her tone and words genuine.

Amanda didn't believe her. Amanda didn't think she was strong. She thought she was weak. She thought she was bad. She though she deserved it.

"Amanda, the point of me telling you this is so you know I understand how hard it can be to trust someone. I've dealt with trust issues my whole life, even more so after Lewis had me. I would never wish what I went through upon anybody. I know what it's like to be hurt, and I would never inflict any pain onto you," Olivia assured her. Amanda crawled into her arms.

"I promise I will never hurt you," Olivia whispered.

"I know. I trust you."


	15. Chapter 15

**A/n: hi, everyone! I hope you enjoy this chapter! Thank you so much for all of the support on this story! :)**

Olivia smiled softly at Amanda's words. To hear that the young blonde finally trusted her meant so much to her. The seasoned police detective was overjoyed that she finally earned the trust of the most frightened person she ever encountered. She was relieved that Amanda felt safe with her because now, Olivia could help her. Olivia had been able to keep the young woman physically safe, and now, she would be able to help her through the emotional and psychological damage. She wasn't sure how exactly they were going to get through this, but Amanda's expression of trust assured Olivia that they somehow would.

For Amanda, voicing such words was a dangerous act of courage. She knew that if Olivia wanted hurt her, she could. Olivia could chain her down and abuse her, and Amanda wouldn't be able to do a thing about it. She was defenseless and fearful, and she would be an easy target to abuse and take advantage of. Amanda was sure Olivia knew she could get away with such acts if desired. However, Amanda was also sure that Olivia didn't want to. Olivia didn't desire to cause the young blonde any pain, unlike ninety nine percent of the people the younger woman encountered over the last year or so. Olivia genuinely wanted the best for Amanda. She didn't wish to starve her, sell her, or otherwise hurt her. She wanted Amanda to feel safe. She saw Amanda as a human being, not a toy or a space. Olivia was being kind without expecting anything in return. Olivia was a good person. Olivia was safe.

Honestly, Amanda didn't understand why Olivia was so nice to her. She couldn't fathom why another person would care for her without some sort of catch. No one had given her love in a very long time, and she'd forgotten what it felt like to be loved. She's forgotten what it felt like to be treated like a human, not an animal, a sex toy, or a slave. The last year or so had her convinced that everyone was out to hurt and use her. However, she was beginning to realize that some people were just good people. Some people were bad and wanted to use others, so maybe some people were good and wanted to help others. She didn't know understand why Olivia chose to be kind to someone she could've easily harmed, but she was, and Amanda was so grateful to have crossed paths with her.

Throughout the day, Amanda was still quiet and hesitant. She seemed lost in her own thoughts as usual. Memories of the last year or so replayed in her mind, sometimes pulling tears from her eyes. She didn't speak much, and she still kept to herself. However, she was noticeably more relaxed. Her shoulders weren't hunched. She wasn't curled up in a ball all day. She wasn't as jumpy as she had been. The young woman usually preferred being alone, but she now felt safer in Olivia's presence. She was usually safer alone than she was with people, but Olivia was proving that it was possible to be safe with another person. Olivia didn't want to hurt her; Olivia ia wanted to help her.

"Olivia?" Amanda asked quietly.

"Yes, sweetheart?" Olivia smiled. The two were sitting on the couch. The television was on, but only Olivia was watching it. Noah was on the floor, playing with plastic dinosaurs, and Amanda had been zoned out.

"I-is it too late to clean my wounds? Th-they hurt really bad," Amanda admitted. Though Olivia was sad to see her in pain, her smile grew upon the realization that Amanda was asking her to clean the wounds. A couple of days ago, she cried when Olivia wanted to clean her wounds. She had backed into a corner and begged Olivia not to harm her. Now, she was trusting that Olivia was most likely not going to hurt her.

"It's not too late. I can clean them and bandage them if you want me to," Olivia responded. Amanda didn't like physical contact because it had proven to be dangerous and painful in the past. When she was around people, she found it necessary to watch their every moment to see if they were trying to hurt her. However, she was now willing to face away from Olivia without a shirt on and allow the older woman to touch her back with a cotton balls soaked in a medicine that would sting her. To the average person, allowing someone to clean their wounds was really no big deal, but to Amanda, it was an act of trust.

"You promise you won't hurt me?" Amanda asked for confirmation. She was pretty sure Olivia wouldn't hurt her, but her past caused her to find it best to make sure.

"It will sting a little bit, but I promise it's going to help you more than hurt you. The sting will last only a few seconds," Olivia answered honestly. She would prefer to tell Amanda it wouldn't hurt at all, but she knew that Amanda would discover that was untrue and possibly not trust her again.

"Okay, but you're not trying to hurt me," Amanda stated in a questioning tone.

"Correct," Olivia confirmed. Amanda nodded, and the two headed to the bathroom.

In the bathroom, Olivia could tell that Amanda was nervous, despite being assured that the process was safe. Amanda watched as Olivia grabbed the bottle of hydrogen peroxide and a handful of cotton balls. The young blonde found herself reading the label of the hydrogen peroxide to make sure it was, in fact, not alcohol. The idea of alcohol being poured on her wounds worried the young blonde. Alcohol hurts so bad on open wounds. Olivia said the hydrogen peroxide would sting a little, and Amanda hoped it wouldn't feel as painful as the alcohol did.

"Amanda, are you able to take your shirt off for me and unclasp your bra?" Olivia asked softly.

"Okay," Amanda whispered. Olivia felt bad, knowing that Amanda was still nervous about the process.

"I won't hurt you. I'll explain everything before I do it. You're safe here," Olivia reminded her. Amanda nodded, feeling a little bit of relief.

Amanda hesitantly took her shirt off. After she unclasped her bra, Olivia asked her to turn around. Amanda was nervous about turning around. She didn't want to lose sight of Olivia. She wanted to watch her to confirm that Olivia wasn't going to do anything bad to her. Still, she turned around. Olivia could tell that Amanda was tensed up, and she told her not to worry. She promised the young blonde wasn't in any danger, and she reassured her that she would tell her before doing anything and would be as gentle as possible.

"If it becomes too much, all you have to do is say to stop, and I will. I won't be mad if you need a break or want to stop entirely. Everything is under your control. I'm not going to force you to do anything. Just tell me to stop at anytime," Olivia declared seriously. She didn't want Amanda to feel as though she didn't have a choice or couldn't change her mind.

"Thank you," Amanda whispered, grateful that someone cared about her well being.

"I'm pouring some hydrogen peroxide onto a cotton ball," Olivia informed her. After soaking a cotton ball, she walked towards the tensed up blonde.

"Relax, sweetheart. You are completely safe here. You can tell me if you want to stop or if you need a break. I'm going to dab the cotton ball on your gashes, starting right by your right shoulder," Olivia informed her.

Though Olivia stated exactly what was going on, Amanda still flinched when the cotton ball came in contact with her skin. She hissed at the stinging sensation, and Olivia felt terrible for her. She wished Amanda didn't have to feel any more pain, physically or emotionally.

"I'm so sorry. Are you okay? Do you want me to stop?" Olivia asked. Amanda shook her head, giving Olivia permission to continue. Amanda hissed or winced in pain multiple times, and Olivia apologized each time. She reminded Amanda she was allowed to stop the process at anytime, but Amanda never asked to stop. She trusted that Olivia wasn't trying to hurt her.

At one point, a cotton ball came in contact with the biggest and most painful gash. The stinging sensation was the worst one Amanda had endured since Olivia started. Amanda couldn't help but let out a yelp and back away. Her anxious thoughts got the best of her, and she replaced the stinging sensation of the medicine with the stinging pain the whip made when it cracked against her skin.

"Amanda, I'm so sorry," Olivia immediately apologized, feeling terribly guilty. Amanda didn't respond, and Olivia placed a hand on her shoulder in an attempt to comfort her. Amanda flinched at the physical contact.

"I'm sorry. I know I'm not supposed to move," Amanda whimpered, moving back to where she was.

"No, Amanda, don't be sorry. You're allowed to stop. Do you want a break?" Olivia asked. Amanda glanced up at Olivia and sighed in both relief and surprise. She realized she was with Olivia, and the hydrogen peroxide was placed on her skin. She wasn't with her captor, and she wasn't being whipped.

"I'm sorry. I thought... I felt like," Amanda stuttered. Olivia's heart sank.

"Amanda, did you think you were being whipped?" Olivia asked softly.

"I-I... I'm sorry. I just," Amanda trailed off, tears welling up in her eyes.

"It's okay, Amanda. I realize this can be very difficult. I'm so sorry you're going through this. You're in my apartment. I was cleaning your wounds, and it stung pretty bad. I promise no one was beating you," Olivia reminded her. Amanda nodded, feeling ashamed about what happened.

"I know you're not dangerous. I know you're safe. I don't know why that happened," Amanda whimpered. Olivia's heart both melted and shattered. She was glad that Amanda felt safe with her, but she felt horrible that Amanda was having trouble differentiating the reality of the present and her past.

"It's okay, sweetheart. You're right; I'm not dangerous. You're safe with me. However, you've also been through a very traumatic experience. These things are not unusual, and it's not your fault. You don't have to be sorry or ashamed or embarrassed," Olivia told her. Her tone was serious, but it was also filled with love.

"Thank you," Amanda whispered gratefully.

"Do you want to continue, or do you want to stop?" Olivia asked, expecting the young blonde to request to stop.

"We can continue," Amanda mumbled.

"How about if you face the mirror so that you can see me?" Olivia suggested, wishing she'd thought of that earlier. Amanda nodded and looked at the mirror. Olivia still explained what she was going to do before she did it, and Amanda still flinched at the contact, but she didn't move away or feel unsafe with Olivia. She was glad she could see Olivia in the mirror. Seeing her helped keep the young blonde grounded. She still hissed at the pain, and Olivia apologized each time. Amanda gave a weak smile to assure Olivia that it was okay.

"I'm so proud of you," Olivia said after she finished cleaning the wounds. She grabbed some bandages from the first aid kit and carefully bandaged the gashes. Amanda flinched at the contact, but both women were glad the painful part was over.

"So my back won't hurt anymore?" Amanda asked.

"It might still hurt a bit, but it'll heal faster now," Olivia answered. Amanda nodded.

"Is there anything you'd like to do today?" Olivia wondered. Amanda shook her head. She didn't like going outside. She felt safe inside of the apartment, and she wouldn't feel safe outside. The two returned to the living room, and Amanda sat on the couch.

The rest of the day was quiet. Amanda didn't get up from where she was sitting until bedtime. Around dinner time, Olivia asked the young blonde if she wanted dinner, very surprised when Amanda shook her head and mumbled a "no thank you". It was unlike Amanda to reject food, regardless of if she was hungry or not. As the hours passed, Olivia noticed Amanda seemed to become more and more anxious. However, whenever she asked if the young blonde was all right, the blank look in her eyes would contradict the nod Amanda would give.

Amanda's anxiety increased as she considered the idea of telling Olivia what was on her mind. She knew Olivia wanted to know, and she almost wanted to tell her. However, the fear of what could happen was almost too much. The young blonde felt like throwing up. She trusted Olivia more than any other person she knew, but could she trust her enough to tell her? Would she still be safe if the secret left her mouth?

Amanda replayed the last few days in her mind. Olivia fed her and gave her water. Olivia didn't let anything bad happen to her in the shower. Olivia soothed her after nightmares and flashbacks. Olivia promised she wouldn't have to serve any customers. Olivia's physical touch wasn't painful. Olivia didn't scream at Amanda. Olivia didn't beat her. Olivia never insulted her. Olivia never tortured her. Olivia cared about her. Olivia was different from Amanda's abusers. Olivia could be trusted.

Around seven thirty, Olivia put her son to bed. Noah was persistent and convinced his mother to read him two bedtime stories. It was around seven fifty when Olivia returned to the living room. She noticed Amanda looked pale. It was obvious that something was bothering the young blonde. Olivia was about to ask her what was wrong, but Amanda spoke up first. Her voice was shaky as she answered the question Olivia had been wanting to know since the two met.

"H-his n-name is J-J-J-John R-R-Rollins."


	16. Chapter 16

**A/n: hi, everyone! Updates will be slower from now on as a result of things. I hope you enjoy this chapter! Thank you for all the support! :)**

"Amanda, it's okay. Calm down, honey. You're safe. You don't need to cry. It's okay," Olivia tried to soothe the young blonde. She understood that releasing such a detail could be emotional, but Amanda seemed frightened. Olivia didn't want her thinking it was unsafe to report the crimes committed against her.

"No, just forget it. Pretend I didn't say anything," Amanda cried, shaking her head. Olivia wondered if Amanda really thought she would just forget the fact that Amanda gave up the name of her abuser. Her plea sounded desperate. She wished she could take the name out of Olivia's memory. She didn't want anyone to know the name of her captor, yet she had willingly given it up.

Sobs erupted from Amanda, and her body trembled violently. She wished she could take back what she said. She hadn't spoken his name in the year that she was held captive, and she had decided she would never let those words slip from her lips. It was too dangerous. Olivia was kind and had no intentions of harming Amanda, but even so, Amanda didn't think she could be trusted with such information.

Amanda wasn't sure what she expected to happen when she gave her captor's name up. She always assumed he would punish her for reporting him. She cringed at the thought of having to feel a whip hit her skin over and over. She cried harder at the thought of being held down and raped. However, he wasn't here, and, even in her emotionally damaged state, Amanda knew he wouldn't magically appear and continue to torture her. That didn't stop her from fearing he would capture her again though. Amanda didn't understand why Olivia wanted to know his name. She didn't understand what use that information would be to Olivia. She was concerned about why Olivia wanted such a detail. Olivia hadn't caused Amanda any harm, but a part of the young blonde still feared that Olivia was actually against her. A part of her worried that Olivia would send her back to her abuser.

Olivia had wanted to know the name of the evil man who abused Amanda since the two met in the hospital. She wanted to find him and put him away so he could never harm anyone again. She hoped that if he was in prison, Amanda would start to feel safe again. Olivia hated that anyone would ever cause someone such harm, and she wanted this person caught. She wanted justice for Amanda. She was sure that if she could just get his name, she could find him and put him away. Now, she knew his name, and she felt sick. The man's last name was Rollins, just like Amanda's. The two had to be related. One of Amanda's own family members abused her. One of her own family members kept her as a sex slave and a punching bag. One of her own family members traumatized her so bad she was absolutely terrified of just about everyone.

"I'm not going to do that, Amanda. I can help you," Olivia told her.

"No, no, you can't. Nobody can help me. He's going to hurt me now. I shouldn't have said anything," Amanda sobbed, regretting giving up his name. She was curled up in a ball, hugging herself tight.

"Yes, honey, I can. I _can_ help you. I will never let him hurt you again. You're allowed to say his name. You're free. You don't have to be afraid of him anymore," Olivia declared, slowly sitting down next to Amanda on the floor.

 _Free_. Amanda felt far from free. She was out of the basement, but she wasn't sure she'd ever truly leave that place. There were no chains on her wrists or ankles, and Olivia had told her many times she would never be chained down again. Her captor didn't have her physically, but she was still his prisoner. She was still trapped in her own mind. He was still out there, and she was convinced he could easily take her again. If he were to capture her again, she was sure she'd never have a chance of escaping.

"He's gonna find me. He's gonna find me. I shouldn't have run away. I'm going to be punished," Amanda cried, fearing the pain that was to come should her worry of him abducting her again ever become a reality.

"He's not going to find you, Amanda. I will do everything I can to keep you safe. You were so brave to run away from your abuser, and I am so proud of you. He can never hurt you again," Olivia tried to assure the small blonde.

"No. No, Olivia, you don't understand. He's smart. He's going to find me. He's going to hurt me so bad for running away. I'm going to have to serve so many customers. I shouldn't have told you his name. Please, don't do anything about it. Please. Please, don't give me back. I'll be good. I'll do whatever you say. Just, please, forget I said his name. Please. I'm sorry I brought it up. Just, please, forget it," Amanda pleaded, tears streaming down her face. Her breathing was unsteady, and panic was obvious in her eyes.

"Honey, you need to calm down. I promise he will never hurt you. He's not going to find you. I am not going to just forget that you told me his name. Now that I know his name, I can find him and put him away," Olivia responded.

Olivia knew it wouldn't be that easy. She knew that, while knowing his name would be a great help, it would still take time to find him. Even when they _did_ find him, Olivia would still have to convince Amanda to testify. That would be another battle. Amanda was afraid to say his name. It would take a lot of work to get her to testify against the man who tortured and traumatized her.

"I can't tell you why he took me," Amanda sobbed.

"It's okay, sweetheart. We don't always know why people do the things they do, but it is not your fault," Olivia whispered.

Olivia misunderstood. Amanda didn't say she didn't know why. Amanda knew why he took her. She didn't think she could tell Olivia though. Olivia would be so angry. As kind as she was, if Olivia found out why he abducted her, Olivia would be angry at her. She would deprive her of food, chain her down, and beat her. She would punish Amanda for being so bad.

"Olivia, I don't want anymore pain," Amanda whimpered.

"I know, sweetie. I don't want you to have anymore pain either. You said you trusted me, right, honey?" Olivia asked. The younger woman nodded.

"Then, you know I would never hurt you, and I would never let your abuser hurt you again. You know that I can help you. I promise to help you, and you know by now that I keep my promises," Olivia reminded her. Amanda nodded. Olivia hadn't broken any of her promises to Amanda so far. Since being with Olivia, Amanda hadn't been physically harmed.

"John Rollins. Is he your father?" Olivia asked. Amanda shook her head.

"How are you related to him?" Olivia wondered.

"He's my uncle," Amanda hiccuped a sob.

"Where are your parents?" Olivia asked curiously.

"M-my m-mom is in Atlanta, a-and m-my d-dad p-passed away," Amanda answered.

"Would you like me to contact your mother?" Olivia wondered. Amanda shook her head.

"She won't care," Amanda mumbled. Olivia's heart sank.

"Do you have any siblings?" Olivia questioned.

"K-Kim won't care either," Amanda responded.

"So growing up, was it just you, Kim, and your mom?" Olivia asked, wondering if she'd been abused as a child.

"No. My dad was around when I was a kid. He-he died about two years ago," Amanda whispered.

"Oh, honey, I'm sorry. If you don't mind my asking, how did he die?" Olivia asked. Amanda's eyes widened.

"No, no, no. I c-can't talk about it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry," the young blonde began to panic.

"Okay, honey, okay. It's okay. We don't have to talk about it. Let's stay on topic. Were you kept in your Uncle John's house?" Olivia asked.

"H-he m-must've had a second h-house. I'd n-never b-been there b-before," Amanda answered.

"Was John your father's brother?" Olivia wondered. Amanda nodded.

"Did you and John ever get along?" Olivia questioned.

"Yes. We were close until my dad passed away," Amanda whispered.

"Were you and your father close?"

"Yes. We were very close."

"Where were you when your uncle took you?" Olivia asked.

"I-um-I went to lunch with my uncle. We hadn't been getting along, but he was trying to make up for it. We were driving back to his house, but he kept driving. I asked where we were going, and he said it was a surprise. I got nervous and said I wanted to go home, and he put a cloth over my mouth and nose. I woke up in the b-basem-ment," Amanda recalled.

"You said you and your uncle were close until your father passed away. Any reason why?" Olivia asked. Amanda's breathing went unsteady.

"I can't tell you. I can't tell you. It's my fault," Amanda whispered.

"Honey, what's your fault?" Olivia asked. Amanda refused to answer the question. She didn't want to be punished by Olivia.

"Did you and your uncle have a fight?"

"We had a lot of fights."

"Did your uncle blame you for your father's death?" Olivia questioned. A sob escaped from Amanda's mouth.

"I can't tell you. I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Please, don't be mad! Don't hurt me, Olivia, please!" Amanda cried.

"I'm not mad, honey. I won't hurt you," Olivia promised.

"I didn't mean to. I didn't mean to. I didn't mean to," Amanda whispered.

"Didn't mean to do what?" What did you do?" Olivia pressed.

"There was a drunk driver. I didn't mean to," Amanda wailed.

"Amanda, did your father pass away in a car accident?"

"Olivia, I didn't mean to! I was driving, but the other guy was drunk! I didn't mean to! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" Amanda cried, terrified of what Olivia was going to do.

"Amanda, sweetheart, that car accident was not your fault. You can't blame yourself for what happened," Olivia tried to convince her. Her heart sank at the thought of the young blonde blaming herself for a car accident that was not her fault.

"I was the one who was driving. My d-dad was in the p-passenger's side. I didn't mean to," Amanda whimpered.

"You didn't do anything wrong, Amanda. It was the other driver's fault, not yours," Olivia told her. She gently placed a hand on Amanda's shoulder, and the young blonde shrieked in fear. She jumped away.

"Don't hurt me! Please, Olivia! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to! Please, d-don't p-punish me! Please! N-no m-more p-pain! Please!" Amanda sobbed.

"Amanda, I won't punish you. It's not your fault. Your uncle. Did he abduct you to punish you for the car accident?" Olivia wondered.

"Please, don't. Please, don't. Please, don't. No m-more. No more. I'm so sorry for being bad. I'm so, so sorry. I'll be such a good girl. Please, I learned my l-l-lesson. P-please, d-don't p-punish me. He-he already h-hurt me s-so b-bad. Please!" Amanda cried.

"Amanda, I'm not mad at you," Olivia whispered, trying to approach the young blonde.

"He said I had to be p-punished. Y-you're g-gonna m-make me g-go b-back, a-aren't you? Please, don't. I'll do whatever you say," Amanda sobbed.

"It's okay, honey. I'll never make you go back. You're safe now," Olivia told her.

"I didn't mean to kill him," Amanda cried.

"Amanda, you didn't kill him. The other driver killed him, not you," Olivia tried to convince her. Amanda continued to cry and beg Olivia not to punish her.

"Sweetheart, I won't punish you. Why don't we take a break, okay? Let's go to bed, and we can talk more in the morning," Olivia suggested. Amanda was confused. She was expecting Olivia to beat her. She waiting for Olivia to explode with rage. She was sure Olivia would punish her for that horrible car accident. Amanda and her father were only driving that night because Amanda convinced him to go see a movie with her. If she hadn't told him to, they would've have gone out that night. Didn't Olivia understand that it was all Amanda's fault?

"You're really not mad at me?" Amanda asked.

"Amanda, there's no reason to be mad at you. You didn't do anything wrong," Olivia responded.

"That's not what Uncle John said," Amanda whimpered.

"He lied to you. He emotionally abused you. You are not responsible for that car accident," Olivia stated seriously.

"He always said that it was my fault," Amanda whispered.

"Oh, honey. You can't believe a word he said. He is a crazy, evil man. What happened was not your fault," Olivia told her.

"So you're not going to hurt me? And you won't send me back?" Amanda asked.

"I would never hurt you, and I would never send you back," Olivia spoke softly.

"I don't want to go back," Amanda whimpered. She heard Olivia clearly; she wanted to voice how much she didn't want to ever go back there.

"You don't ever have to go back," Olivia responded.

"I don't want to. I want to stay with you," Amanda admitted.

"Honey, you can stay with me for as long as you want to," Olivia assured her. She pulled the young blonde into her arms, relieved when Amanda didn't flinch away. She spoke soothing words in an effort to calm the younger woman down. It took only minutes before the exhausted blonde fell asleep, and Olivia fell asleep minutes later.


End file.
